Learning the Law in Baby Steps

I'm an Aunt!

2011-10-11T15:23:00.000-07:00

My sister-in-law had a beautiful, healthy baby girl last week. It turns out I was more involved in the birth than I expected. At about 8:00 pm on the night that she went into labor she gave me a call (while I was still at the office) and asked me if I could come and take her to the hospital. I jumped in a cab (she was staying at my in-laws condo right next to our place) and nervously drove her to the hospital. I have never been more nervous about driving a car in my life.

I was expecting that her husband would be waiting for us at the hospital or would be on his way. His whole absence was a bit unexplained. I had asked my sister-in-law where he was, but didn't press her about the details given that she was clearly a little out of it and in a lot of pain. She told me that he was at work once and then later told me that he was at his fathers house (which is about an hour away). I never did get the full story on where he was and why he wasn't with his wife while she was in labor (my relationship with my brother-in-law is not the best one so I tend not to get involved in what he's doing).

He finally showed up after we'd been there for almost two hours (I know, weird, don't get me started). In the meantime I stayed with my sister-in-law and tried my best to maintain small talk with someone who's clearly in a lot of pain. When we first got to the hospital she was about 3 cm dilated and when I left 2 hours later she had already progressed to 7 cm. After I left she gave birth about 4 hours later. I'm not sure what I would have done if I'd been the only one in the delivery room with her. I'm really glad I was able to be there for her and it gave me quite the preview for what I have in store for myself in the future.

Here's a picture of the sweet little girl:

Hubby and I were the first to visit her in the hospital, along with my in-laws and we were the first visitors to their house after they returned home. I loved seeing the baby and I held her for about 4 hours straight. I think I've caught the baby bug. All I can think about is her sweet little face and I find myself looking at her pictures on my cell phone when I'm having a particularly challenging moment at the office. I'm so excited to be an aunt to this sweet little girl!

Routine

2011-09-28T07:57:00.001-07:00

It’s been awhile since I last wrote. I guess I’m not very good at writing about the mundane day to day activities of my life. Things are going well at work. We’re getting settled back into our new/old place and life is pretty much back to normal. Hubby is back to working until 10:00 at night and I’m back to cooking meals for one. This time around I know what to expect and I think that I’m a whole lot more supportive of his career than I was in the past. I have my own activities and my own friends to keep me busy, not to mention my own professional career.

We talk a lot about the future and what we want to accomplish in the next couple of years before we have kids. I sometimes feel like we’ll never really feel ready. I feel like hubby will get wrapped back up in investment banking and won’t want to walk away to a more sane work schedule. I’ll never be at a place in my career where I feel like I can either walk away or make sacrifices to make my career and motherhood work. I feel like we’ll never feel fully financially stable. I feel like we’ll never feel we’re no longer selfish and ready to give up our social life.

With all of these doubts in my mind I also have such a strong desire to be a parent. My sister-in-law is ready to give birth any day now and I find myself feeling a bit jealous of her. She seems so happy and content, ready to take on the struggles of being a working mother. Her baby shower was a few weekends ago and it was so much fun looking at all of the baby gifts. I’m excited to be an aunt, but I feel in the back of my head that my time is coming soon.

Bye Bye Summer

2011-09-07T09:10:00.000-07:00

Summer seems to be officially gone. A clear sign of the end of summer is the abundance of pumpkin and apple flavored drinks and treats available at coffee shops and grocery stores around the city. I love my pumpkin spice latte as much as the next person, but I’m a little sad that summer seems to have ended so abruptly. I feel like I’ve been cheated out of yet another summer without my husband. We went to the beach only once this summer and any future beach days are pretty numbered. I guess there’s always the hope that next summer we’ll get to spend more time doing the things we love.

At the beginning of the summer I joined a new fancy gym. We used to belong to a really cheap no frills gym that I always dreaded going to because it was really hot and many of the machines were out of order. I also thought that by spending more money on a gym I would feel guilty about wasting money if I didn’t go. So far I’ve really started to take advantage of the perks. I’ve gone to a few Zumba and spinning classes. Over the holiday weekend all of the regular classes were cancelled so I decided to take advantage of the lap pool. I’ve never been a really strong swimmer. I spent a summer as a lifeguard at a summer camp and every morning we had to do laps in the pool before breakfast. It was a special kind of torture for me, but I got in really great toned shaped with seemingly little effort. So I started swimming laps again. The first day I had trouble going more than 50 yards without stopping, but I’m confident I can build my endurance back up. At least it’s something new and challenging for me. My biggest stumbling block to working out is that I constantly get bored with the same routines or the same class. Hopefully with all of the new perks I can keep myself interested and engaged in getting back into shape.

This weekend is my sister in laws baby shower. I’m “hosting” it at my mother in laws house since we currently don’t have a functional place to host at the moment. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve never been to a baby shower so I’m not sure what to expect. I have a feeling I’m going to be attending a lot more in the future. I guess we’ve passed the friends getting married stage and have moved onto the pregnant friends stage. Two of our close friends just announced their impending babies this past weekend. While I’m extremely happy for them I’m also kind of sad that this new stage signals the end of an era with these friends. No more late nights out or last minute weekend trips. I guess it’s only a matter of time before we’re going to start a family. It will be good to be surrounded by other more experienced parents when our time comes. I’m also glad that we won’t be the first ones in our circle of friends starting a family and a plus is that there will be built in friends for our future children.

Thank You Irene

2011-09-02T08:50:00.000-07:00

The one good thing to come out of hurricane Irene was getting my husband back early! I was unfortunately out of town on a lovely island in the middle of Lake Michigan when he arrived, but he was there when I returned on Monday from my voyage. Luckily he flew into NY last Friday before the storm hit, but due to the evacuations in Manhattan his hotel was cancelled and he had so much difficulty trying to find a new place to stay that his employer told him just to go home and they would figure it out for him (his week of training in NY ended up being cancelled anyways). He wasn’t able to book a flight so he got one of the last rental cars and just drove home. He made it home safe and sound, one week early!

It’s been nice having him back and not working yet. He’s resumed his dinner preparations for me (though this has been a really crazy week for me and I’ve only made it home to dinner once this week) and he’s been running countless errands for me. It’s nice to have him home; it’s even nicer to have my personal assistant back.

This will be the first weekend since we moved back that I don’t have out of town plans. It will be nice to get organized for the impending move and spend time with hubby at home. Our renters moved out yesterday and the renovations begin this weekend. We’re going shopping for new appliances and a new mattress this weekend. Hopefully there will be some good Labor Day sales. The painters start next week and then our new carpets will be installed the following week. I can’t wait to move back in and get settled. This couldn’t have worked out more perfectly with the timing of hubby returning and moving back in.

I hope everyone else has fantastic Labor Day plans. Enjoy the last long weekend of the summer!

Summer of Weddings

2011-08-24T08:03:00.001-07:00

This summer really is the summer of weddings for me. Next weekend I will be traveling to beautiful Mackinac Island, Michigan for my final wedding event of the summer. I’m particularly looking forward to this wedding because I’ve never been to Mackinac Island, much less really even been to Michigan (the Detroit airport doesn’t count). I’ve been looking at pictures online of the resort where the wedding will be held for weeks and I cannot wait. Even more fun I will be there with six of my college roommates/friends. For various reasons (husband in London for me) we will all be flying solo this weekend. It will be a great girl’s weekend to relax and catch up with old friends who I haven’t spent nearly enough time with since we graduated college nearly 8 years ago.

The wedding I was at last weekend was absolutely breathtaking. I was a bridesmaid in the wedding and I had a blast. My best friend/roommate from college was the bride and she was marrying her high school sweetheart. They have been dating for as long as my husband and I have been together (10 years!) and it was so sweet to see them finally make it official. The wedding was in a beautiful vineyard and every last detail was so stunning. I honestly have never seen flowers as beautiful as the ones at this wedding. They were an assortment of purples and deep reds, which were a perfect complement to the bridesmaid’s wine colored dresses. My friend chose the color and fabric and each bridesmaid chose the J.Crew dress they wanted. All five of us chose different styles, coincidentally, and the pictures came out so beautiful and interesting because of it.

Just one more week before hubby arrives home from London. He’ll be flying to New York while I’m in Michigan this weekend, but he’ll be home officially at the end of the week. I can’t wait to see him! We have such a fun filled weekend ahead of us (slightly sarcastic). We have to pick out a new bed (hubby finally won the argument about the old bed which I still love) and new appliances to replace the outdated ones in our condo. Then the painters will be in the following week, new carpets installed and we will finally get to move back in a few weeks later. Soon enough we will be situated in our old/new space and things will start to feel normal again. It’s just getting through the next few weeks that may be a bit difficult.

Swamped

2011-08-17T15:05:00.001-07:00

I've been so busy with work I haven't had a chance to write for a few weeks. Now I guess I know what it feels like to be on track to make your hours at the end of the year. It's actually not a lot of late nights, just really insanely busy days where I don't have time to eat lunch or go to the bathroom. I'm actually really loving it though and learning so much. I can't believe how much more responsibility I'm given at this firm. I pretty much conduct my own closing and draft documents with little to no supervision. This is sometimes challenging and frustrating, but I'm learning an incredible amount this way.

Just thought I'd check in and say "hi". Not much new is going on. Hubby is coming home at the end of the month and I'm super exacted to see him and get moved back into our condo. I went and purchased our new dining room furniture and I'm super excited for it to come. Other than that just a bunch of busy wedding weekends ahead.

London Recap

2011-08-03T11:00:00.001-07:00

I’m back from London and it already feels like my vacation was a long, long time ago. I had such a great time. It was truly difficult getting on the plane to come home. I spent much of the week sightseeing on my own, but I had a really great time. I’ve never really done much traveling on my own and wasn’t sure how I would enjoying sightseeing on my own, but I actually had a really great time. I was hesitant at first that I would be lonely going to museums and visiting castles all by myself, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I actually enjoyed being independent and doing exactly what I pleased each day. I often find that when sightseeing in large groups there is always a struggle over what to do and how long to stay, but when you’re by yourself you can do whatever you like. It was actually quite enjoyable and I wouldn’t mind doing it again.

The highlight of my trip was visiting Buckingham Palace and seeing Kate Middleton’s dress on display. I will confess I am one of those people who is completely fascinated and a slightly bit obsessed with the British royal family. I woke up at 3am to watch the wedding and obsessed over news coverage of the Duke and Dutchess visiting the Americas earlier this summer. I waiting in line for a ticket nearly all day, but was able to slip in at the last showing of the day and boy was it worth it. When I studied abroad in London it was during the winter and I wasn’t able to visit certain places that are only available to tour in the summer, such as Buckingham Palace. The second highlight of my trip was a tour of Parliament. If you ever have a chance to visit I highly recommend it. My tour guide may have been exceptional, but she told some truly fascinating stories and I walked away feeling like I’d gotten an amazing history lesson.

Hubby and I were able to take a day trip together up to Stonehenge and Bath. I had been to Stonehenge before, but every time I’m amazed at how many tourists flock there to see a bunch of rocks in the middle of a field (it is pretty cool). Bath was amazing and I wish we had more time to spend there.

Now it’s back to work and I’m already counting down the days until hubby comes home.

Busy Weekends

2011-07-19T07:45:00.000-07:00

I haven’t had a weekend free since hubby and I moved back to Big City. It’s been nice with hubby away because I haven’t really had time to miss him, but it’s starting to get a bit exhausting. I’ve had weddings and bachelorette parties, which have all been amazing, but I’m starting to miss hubby and am getting incredibly excited about heading over to jolly old England on Friday. I can’t believe I’ll be over there in just a few days. Time really does fly by.

This past weekend I was in NYC for my college roommate’s bachelorette party. It truly was a blast (an expensive blast), but truly one of the most fun times I’ve had with my college friends in a very long time. We saw Naked Boys Singing, which much to my surprise was actually a bunch of naked guys singing. I was a bit shocked at first to see so much male frontal nudity, but then I just kind of went with it (the pre-theatre champagnes probably helped with that). Then we went to a very nice Italian restaurant for dinner. Then it was on to multiple bars and clubs for dancing and drinks. My favorite bar had champagne in the bathroom. We stayed out until around 5:00 in the morning and I was still so amazed at the traffic jam (of cabs) going back to the hotel and the massive amounts of people still out on the streets at that hour. I love NYC, but I don’t think I could ever quite call it home. I really think we dodged a bullet by not moving there. It’s fun to visit, but I don’t think I’ll ever want to live there.

The weekend before that I was at a wedding for two of our closest friends (hubby went to grad school with one of the grooms and I was besties with the other groom while we were there). It was the most traditional non-traditional wedding that I have ever been to. First off, it was a gay wedding, but more importantly it was a wedding between two people who are so obviously in love and support eachother 100%. It was one of the most touching and moving weddings I have ever been to. They had a very traditional Jewish ceremony with a few very non-traditional twists thrown in. The rabbi was a family friend and very obviously was moved by the entire thing and openly cried at a few points in the ceremony. I understand people are entitled to their own beliefs about gay marriage, but I challenge anyone to witness what I saw and tell me that there is something wrong with it. These two men are more qualified to marry and raise children than many straight couples I know. I felt so blessed and honored to be a part of their wedding day.

The reception was also one of the most fun (and lavish) I have ever had the privilege to attend. It was at one of the grooms family vacation homes right on the water, like literally there is a beach in front of the house. They were married on a beautiful bluff overlooking the ocean, it was breathtaking. The cocktail hour was incredible with fancy drinks (St. Germaine cocktails are my new fav) and a ridiculous raw bar filled with little necks, oysters, lobster, shrimp, you name it. I literally ate my body weight in seafood. The dinner was even more spectacular, if that’s possible. The speeches were both touching and hysterical, but the band really made the night. The band was so good I literally felt like I was at a concert. There were a couple of singers and they were just amazing. Everybody danced the night away and most importantly the grooms were having the time of their lives. This wedding will be tough to beat.

Slowing Down

2011-07-14T12:52:00.001-07:00

Today is an incredibly slow day at the office. The partner I work with most frequently is getting ready to leave on vacation for 2 weeks so he’s pretty much just trying to clear his calendar and doesn’t have much for me to do right now. All of my other projects seem to be at a standstill point. I’d like to get some of these things closed so that I don’t worry that I’m walking into chaos when I get back from London, but I’m sure that’s inevitable.

I’ve been so busy that I kind of welcome a slower pace to the day, however, the other side to that coin in the annoying billable hour. I know that every hour I sit here doing “administrative tasks” I’m not billing and I’m eating away at the nice amount of time I’ve been building up. I know those hours will have to be made up somewhere, sigh. However, I get the impression that year end billable are pretty much a non-issue as long as you’re doing the work that comes your way. We’ll see.

In other news, I finally joined a gym. I was going to wait until husband got back from London, but yesterday while I was eating lunch (ironically enough) I got a call from one of the fancy gyms in town that was offering a special for the summer and a year of low rates. I know this is the gym hubby wanted to join when he got back so I decided to go for it. The one close to my office is just alright (I hear from a lot of people that it’s pretty crowded), but the one close to home that I would use on the weekends is brand new and gorgeous. It has a large pool, indoor courts and lots of good weekend fitness classes. I’m pretty pumped about it (imagine me excited over the gym). I’m hoping this will kickstart my workout routine because I haven’t exactly been shedding the pounds as I hoped I would once when we moved back. Of course, as a little extra incentive, I went out and bought myself a couple of new gym shorts and tops, along with a new one piece suit to use in the aforementioned pool. I’m all ready to go! Let’s hope this enthusiasm doesn’t wear too quickly.

This weekend is another jam packed one. I’m headed to NYC for a bachelorette party for my college roommate. Should be a blast, as well as super expensive. Good thing I’ve got this new job.

Where Does the Time Go

2011-07-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I started my new job. Things continue to get progressively busier (and harder), but I'm still really liking it and learning a lot. Husband left for his training in London the other day and I'm already missing him like crazy. He was so helpful my first few weeks of work. He made me dinner every night and took care of all of the laundry and cleaning during the day. It was amazing having a stay at home spouse.

I think he was really bummed to have to go over by himself and he said as much when I dropped him off at the airport. We spent last summer apart last summer so we're not strangers to this whole thing. I think it was just hard for him that for the past 6 months we'd been making plans about what we were going to do in London together and then I got this job and couldn't go. It didn't really hit him that we were not going to be able to do all of those things we had planned. I will be joining him for a week (two weekends) at the end of the month, but probably not enough time to go to Paris and Ireland like we had planned.

I'm starting to get to know my co-workers pretty well. I went to a cocktail party hosted by a fellow associate a few weeks ago and was surprised at how many former law school classmates were also there. It's a small world. Last night there was a big summer associate event at a baseball game. The firm has box seats and let me just say I have never felt so spoiled in my whole life. It was a great chance to chat with my fellow associates and I even got in on some of the inside jokes. They have this thing where they like to interoffice mail each other funny things. I think I'm officially in on the joke when I got a Murder She Wrote video cassette in my mailbox this morning. I have to think of something funny to do with it now.

One Week Down...

2011-06-22T08:11:00.001-07:00

Things have continued to go well for me at the new job. Since the day I started, I’ve been consistently billing 7-8 hours a day (over 9 hours on Monday) which is quite a jump from my last position where I was only consistently billing that high during a closing. It’s nice to be busy, the day goes by faster, I feel productive and that I’m adding value. There is a pretty steep learning curve for me here though. I’m used to drafting documents, but generally not the big important ones. In my new position, at a smaller firm, I’m expected to take on the responsibility of drafting everything for a deal. I’m up to the challenge, but sometimes feel a little overwhelmed with just how little I know about certain things. I’m sure that this will come with time and if I continue to stay busy it should come faster than I know it.

In other news, it’s GREAT to be back in big city. Husband and I had dinner last night with friends from small city who also moved back to big city. It’s amazing that out of our closest friends from small city at least half of them have moved to big city with us and the other half are in close parts of the country. It’s great that we can continue our friendships in a new place because I’m really terrible at maintaining long distance friendships.

Husband has been keeping busy before he heads across the pond for training in a few weeks. He’s been meeting with various painters and contractors to determine what steps we should take (and how much money it will cost us) to fix up our condo once the renters move out in September (we are staying at my in-laws “unused” condo nearby). I can’t wait to get back into our condo. It’s great that we have a place to stay for the summer, but I still feel like I’m living out of a suitcase which is unsettling.

There has also been a bit of family drama surrounding the use of my in-laws condo. Apparently, unbeknownst to my in-laws (but not unknown to me) my jacka** brother-in-law has been using the place to hang out with friends before baseball games and various other social events in the city (they live out in the suburbs). I had expected this would stop once we actually moved into the place for the summer. Nope, last Friday the inconsiderate jerk brought his friends over to “drink some beers” in the condo before going to an event. I’m not quite sure what part of this he thought would be okay with us. They show up around 6:00 while I’m still at work. Husband was really annoyed and left the condo immediately and called his parents to deal with the situation. I of course immediately get a call from my sister-in-law (because husband didn’t answer his phone) yelling at us for not bringing the issue up with her directly and instead going directly to my in-laws (she has a point, but if you had met her husband you wouldn’t want to deal with him either). Anyways, this made the whole weekend (which we all spent together at my in-laws house for father’s day) awkward. Lesson learned, should probably deal with conflict directly, but I think my in-laws have a right to know what’s going on in their place.

Back in the Trenches

2011-06-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy couple of weeks, but I'm finally back to Big City and settled into my new position. The move went as well as a move across many states can be expected to go. We basically just packed up our stuff, a bunch of guys came and picked everything up and now almost a week later it's finally being delivered. We're actually putting our stuff into storage for the next couple of months until the renters in our condo have moved out. For now we're staying at the condo my in-laws own (but don't live at).

Things got a little crazy right before the move with various things going wrong. There was a miscommunication with my new job (they thought I was starting a week earlier than I actually was) and we were rear-ended just days before leaving little city and our movers switched days on us a few times. Things were a bit hectic, but now that they're over life is getting pretty much back to normal.

I started my new job on Monday and there was basically work waiting for me when I got here. Training consisted of: here's your computer, blackberry and phone, have at it. I still have yet to be trained on how to enter my time and have not been told if an assistant has been assigned to me. Things move at a slower pace at a small firm, but I'm just trying to be patient and role with the punches.

I really like the partner I've been assigned to work with and have already drafted documents for a small transaction. I think things are going relatively well. Attorneys in the office seem to work varied hours, but generally the building is pretty clear by 7:00. There doesn't seem to be a certain billable hour requirement, but I'm sure there is a number out there somewhere. I was told by my mentor that as long as I'm doing all that is asked of me the billable hours will not be an issue. Let's hope this is true.

In other news, it's great to be back in Big City. I was actually quite surprised at how sad I was to leave small town. After two years there I was just starting to think of it as home. I'm going to miss all of our friends and our laid back lifestyle there, but it's good to be back in a big, thriving, vibrant city again.

Good News / Bad News

2011-05-25T09:50:00.001-07:00

I've been pretty MIA lately, but for good reason. I was offered a position at one of the firms I interviewed with. This is of course very good news, but the bad news is that they need me to start in a few weeks. It looks like I won't be going to London and I'm going to have to spend another summer by myself. I'm really bummed about not going to London, but this job is a great opportunity for me and it's obviously the best choice for the long run.

I gave my notice last week and we're working like crazy to schedule movers and get everything ready for the big move back to big city. I'm really going to miss all of the friends we've made here and this city that we've called home for the past two years. When we first moved I never imagined I would have quite as much fun and would enjoy the city as much as I have.

Luckily many of our friends are also move to the same city and cities close by so it's not goodbye forever. It certainly won't be the same. Everyone will have jobs and responsibilities so no more will there be drinking games until 4 in the morning on a Tuesday or even impromptu get togethers and living next door to 6 of our closest friends. It's sad, but we've still got a few more weeks to soak up the good times and we'll have a lifetime of memories to look back on from our first two years of marriage.

Marathon Interviews

2011-05-10T07:09:00.001-07:00

Last week I ventured up to Big City for a callback interview. I also had a first round interview at another firm and also got a third call for an interview which I was able to schedule for while I was in town.

The first day of interviews started with a first round interview at a firm that had originally sent me a rejection email. I met with the managing partner of the firm who turned out to be one of the nicest lawyers I have ever met. The two of us hit it off and I was pretty convinced that I would get called back eventually for a second round. Less than an hour after leaving the office I received a call from the recruiting coordinator to schedule a second round of interviews for later that afternoon. I immediatly hopped in a cab and met with two additional partners at the firm.

Both interviews seemed to go alright, but I was a little concerned that one of the partners was very close friends with a partner at my previous firm who I didn't get along so well with. I tried to downplay our working interaction, but I'm still a little nervous that he'll call him up and ask his opinion about me. I'm not sure exactly what the other partner would say about me, but I'm sure it wouldn't be a glowing recommendation.

I then headed out to my second first round interview at a very small firm. The first interview was with an associate who seemed less than interested in having to interview me. Our conversation literally lasted for 15 minutes and consisted mostly of me asking him questions to which he would give me one word answers. I was scheduled to meet with the managing partner of the firm, but he was caught up in some sort of crisis so I met with another partner. It was a very nice woman and it turned out we had a lot in common and mostly talked about personal interests during the interview. I would try to turn the conversation back to my skills and experience, but she seemed more interested in my personal interests than my legal abilities. I don't really think I'll be hearing back from them, but you never know.

As soon as I left the last interview of the day I got a call from the first firm asking me to come in the following day for a third round of interviews. I was excited that I would have another shot.

The next morning I had my second round interview with six attorneys. I met with them two at a time. The interviews seemed to go well, but it's always hard to tell. I met with one of the few associates at the firm one on one and she said some things that made me hesitant to want to work there. I don't really want to go into a lot of detail on that, but she made is seem like being an associate at the firm was really difficult. Being that this would be a new practice area for me, I have concerns that it would be a sink or swim type of arrangment and not a whole lot of formal training. That makes me a little nervous.

I then headed back to the other firm to meet with another partner who was extremly nice and said that my qualifications looked great for the position. As I was leaving, the recruiting coordinator wanted me to meet with one of the associates at the firm. The particular associate is pregnant and on bed rest so I would have to go to her home to meet with her. This seemed a little strange, but I was game for whatever they wanted me to do. They sent me over to the associates house in a cab. I was really glad to have the opportunity to meet with her. She had really great things to say about the firm and really moved the position into my first choice. I think we really hit it off and I would be so happy to work with her (once she gets back from maternity leave).

Now it's just a waiting game. I know it's only been a day, but I haven't heard back from any of the firms just yet. I keep replaying all of the interviews in my head and hoping that I will have impressed enough people to get just one of these positions.

Crossing My Fingers

2011-05-03T07:41:00.000-07:00

I scheduled my second round interview for later this week. Ironically, about an hour after scheduling the first interview I received an email from another job that I had applied for a few weeks ago and had already received a rejection from. The named partner of the firm sent me an email apologizing for the previous rejection and asking me to come in as soon as possible to meet with him. Luckily I was already planning a trip up for this week so I was able to tack it on at the same time.

Now I'm doubly nervous for the trip. The second round interview is with 5 partners and one associate. Talk about a long day. I really hope that they will be separate interviews or at least with only 2 attorneys at a time. My first interview was with 2attorneys and it was just difficult trying to have a personal conversation with 2 people at one time. Plus I swear each one of them asked me the same question over and over again.

I'm incredibly nervous to meet with the named partner at the second firm. It's a mid-sized firm with a recruiting department so I'm just a little surprised that the managing partner of the firm would be scheduling and conducting a first round interview. The whole thing seems a bit strange, but I'm going with it. To be quite honest, I would much rather take the job where I am interviewing for the second time. It's in a new practice area that I've always wanted to work in and with a firm that is small, but has an excellent reputation. The second firm is great, but is a little bigger and the job is in my current practice area which is getting a little boring for me.

I guess I'll just continue to keep my fingers crossed that one of these opportunities works out. Even better would be if they would miraculously let me start later in the summer or early September. We'll try our luck at that one if we actually get an offer.

The Call

2011-04-26T12:31:00.001-07:00

So I finally heard back from the firm I interviewed with. Looks like they want to bring me in for another interview. We haven't set up a date yet because they want me to meet with 6 attorneys (talk about a long day). I'm starting to get nervous that they might actually offer me this job. I had pretty much convinced myself there wasn't a chance in the world. Guess I might actually have to make that rough decision between being responsible and going to London.

Extreme Savings

2011-04-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

I'm the type of person who refuses to buy anything unless it's on sale or I get some kind of discount. Most of the stores I shop at tend to either have frequent sales or offer some kind of discount coupons/code on a fairly regular basis. I think because of this I just refuse to buy anything full price because I know eventually it will either go on sale or I can purchase it at a discount. I also order a lot of stuff online and refuse to buy anything unless I have a free shipping code (this sometimes leads me to overspend, but I generally just return things I don't want, which feels like cheating, but oh well). This has also led me to believe that the places I shop just have overinflated prices and when I purchase items with a discount I'm really getting it at the price it should be at.

I'm extremely proud of myself this morning for my latest extreme savings. As I've mentioned before, we have been invited to 6 weddings this summer. We can't go to 2 of them due to hubby's graduation and moving and hubby can only attend 1 because of London. All of them include same kind of travel (2 plane trips) and overnight hotel stays. Between all of that plus wedding gifts we're taking thousands of dollars spent on weddings this summer. I've been trying to pay for as many things up front as possible to stretch the costs out (this is another thing I like to do to make myself think I'm not spending outrageous amounts of money all at one time).

Anyways, I noticed that many of my friends have registered for Fiesta dishes (love them, had them in my childhood and have them now). Macy's is one of those places where if you buy something (especially homeware) at full price you're a sucker. Fiesta is one of those items that they love to put on sale. Currently, they are offering a buy one get one free deal for the 4 piece place setting (all other Fiesta stuff is also on sale). I also happened to get a 25% off friends and family discount code last week in my email. Guess what everyone who's registered for Fiesta is getting?

That's right! I ordered 2 place settings for each person, but they actually get 4 place settings. I can't believe I was able to get 2 friends and my cousin $200 gifts for only $80!! I feel a little cheap for being so excited at saving so much money on wedding gifts, but this has literally saved us hundreds of dollars on our wedding budget this year. I'm super excited and I know my friends will be too! And of course, I got free shipping!

Still Hope

2011-04-21T12:59:00.000-07:00

I finally emailed the recruiter at the firm I interviewed with a few weeks ago. She got back to me almost instantly and explained that they had to reschedule a few interviews so they were a little behind schedule on the first round. She told me to "hang in there" and they would get back to second round candidates shortly. Guess that's a sign that hope is still alive.

In other news, we found out this morning that hubby's employer will not be paying for my airfare to London over the summer. This was quite shocking news to us considering that in years past this was standard practice (each employee got 2 round trip tickets to do whatever they wanted with). Guess they're cutting back. I looked into my flight and it looks like it's going to be around $1,000 for the dates I want to go. I noticed that flights for next month are significantly cheaper, not sure if it's because it's more expensive over the summer or if flights will continue to go down as it gets closer. Regardless, I have to find out definitively one way or the other about this job before I can even think about booking flights. I would hate to get the job and then have to eat the $1,000 flight I wouldn't be using.

I hate the uncertainty in my life right now. I have no idea what 3 months from now is going to look like. I could either be working at a new firm or be off in Europe. I know those are both pretty good options, but I still hate not knowing and not being able to plan my life. It makes me feel so out of control and I'm starting to become an emotional wreck over really small things. I also hate that I'm always looking forward to something far off in the future. I want to be enjoying the time that we have left in this little town with all of our friends and not be distracted by what's going to happen somewhere off in the future. I wish I could live my life more in the moment.

2011-04-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

As a side note, I hate that I'm only ever asked research questions that appear to have no answer. I dread the call starting, "nobody can seem to figure out the answer to this, but." Let's be honest, if attorneys who have been practicing for 20+ years can't figure out the answer, how do you expect me to?

I've been spinning my wheels all day trying to figure out an answer to what appears to be the most basic question. Yet, I'm nowhere near finding a coherent response. Even better, the project is non-billable.

Shopping to Distraction

2011-04-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

Since I still haven't heard back from the job interview (or any of the other 9,000 jobs I've applied to), I thought I'd distract myself with a little spring shopping. I might as well enjoy having my own income for the next couple of months.

There are so many events coming up that require a dress or "smart casual" outfit. A dress that I've coveted from Vineyard Vines forever went on sale last week and I had to get it for hubby's upcoming graduation. I figure I'll also wear it for a rehearsal dinner and a few other things later this summer.

I tried a couple of pairs of white sandals that I already had, but none of them looked quite right. I bought a couple of pairs at Piperlime to "try", but ended up sending them all back. I found this pair of Sperry's that I covet and think would look perfect, but I'm waiting for some kind of a sale or coupon code to purchase them. I can't justify spending $80 on a pair of sandals that I'll probably only wear two or three times this summer. They are cute though, right?

I think they're really cute and would look great with the dress, but I'm sure they'll go on sale eventually. There were so many sales going on this weekend that I got so carried away with how much money I was saving that I kept spending more and more. I got a couple of cute outfits at the J.Crew final sale and this really cute outfit from the Ann Taylor 40% off sale:

I used a leftover Christmas gift card for the Ann Taylor outfit so I figured I wasn't spending any "real" money. After I got home hubby loved the pants so much and when I told him they came in other colors he was like then you must get them (I think he was partially kidding). I ended up buying the pants in a flax color and then, because I had to spend a certain amount for free shipping, I ordered a new black dress for a bachelorette party coming up and a few necklaces I had my eye on. I figure I'll probably end up returning a few things, but maybe not.

No News is...Bad News?

2011-04-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

Well I still haven't heard back from the firm I interviewed with last week. I had hoped that I would hear by now, but I guess not. I really thought the interview went well and that I would receive a phone call this week to set up a follow-up interview. I hope that they're just still interviewing candidates and are waiting to finish that process before the begin call backs. It's hard to stay optimistic at this point.

I'm also incredibly bummed that I received another rejection letter from a firm that had an open position that is EXACTLY what I do. I had the exact amount of experience that they were looking for too. I thought I would be a shoo in for at least an interview. Nothing, they summarily rejected me over email after only have looked at my resume for a few days. It's so frustrating that I wasn't at least called in for an interview. It's really depressing that it doesn't even seem like I have a chance for a job that I feel I would be perfect for.

I keep trying to stay positive. It's just so hard when it wasn't too long ago that I was without a job and was looking in such a terrible economy. It's hard to stay positive when I know that it could be months, or even a year before I find another position. It terrifies me. I know that I have London to look forward to and that I shouldn't worry about finding a job until I get back, but that just seems so irresponsible.

Interview Update

2011-04-11T11:48:00.000-07:00

I meant to write about this last week, you know, after the interview, but then the week from hell came and went. I have finally recovered from my 48 hours of no sleep thanks to the worlds biggest pain in the a** closing (literally I didn't sleep from about 8 pm on Sunday till 3 pm on Tuesday, I was basically a zombie at the end of it).

Anyways, back to the interview recap. After my 48 hours of no sleep I hibernated for about 12 hours and then woke up in a cold sweat at about 3 am the morning of my interview convinced that I had missed it. Unable to calm myself down I pretty much stayed up until my interview later that afternoon (my sleeping patterns are still not back on track). I was still in such a state of exhaustion that I was barely able to pull myself together, but on the plus side I wasn't fully conscious enough to be nervous.

I think the interview itself went alright. I met with two partners in the department that I would be working in. I knew that I would be meeting with these individuals and had read up a little on their backgrounds. However, due to the hellish few days that preceded my interview, I forgot entirely about any of the points of praise I was going to bring up. Suck up FAIL.

I was really thrown off by the fact that I was interviewed by both of them at the same time. It was as though they weren't really listening to each other, or my answers because they seemed to ask me the same two questions over and over again. At this point I thought I might have been delusional and was just mishearing them. I tried my best to answer consistently and uniquely each time (which seems like a contradiction). At the end of the interview they were pretty honest with my and let me know that they were interviewing about a million more people. They said they really like me and would probably be hearing back from them regarding a follow up interview (yippee another plane ticket I'll have to buy).

They gave me some really positive feedback though and told me I had a great resume and presented myself very well in person. They also assured me that even if I wasn't chosen for this position that I would surely land a good job before we moved back. I wasn't sure how to take this. Perhaps they were just trying to soften the blow for my rejection. I don't know. We'll see.

Upcoming Interview

2011-03-31T08:33:00.000-07:00

I came across an opening at a small firm back in our hometown that I have always admired and respected and thought would be a perfect fit for me to work at some day. This is one of those small boutique firms that basically has no associates so they only take experienced attorneys. This posting was for a very junior associate (2-3 years experience) in an area of law that I originally thought I wanted to work in before I got sucked into my current practice area.

I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful father-in-law who happens to be well connected and such a likable person that others are willing to do favors for him. Even luckier for me, my father-in-law happens to know one of the named partners of this firm and offered to submit my resume directly to him. They called me yesterday to set up an interview next week. I happen to be returning to hometown this weekend for a bridal shower so it's perfect timing. I just changed my flight (thank you Southwest for your no change fees) and miraculously found out that I wouldn't have to pay the difference in the underlying flight cost because of some sort of travel advisory (weird). It almost seems like the stars have aligned themselves.

I of course don't want to put the cart before the horse, it's still a long shot for me to get this position. I'm sure there are people lined up the block for this spot with more direct experience in this practice area, better pedigree, etc. While I would love this job, I'm just a little disappointed with the timing. I would ideally like to stay where I am until at least the end of May so that I can be here with hubby before he graduates. Taking this job would also mean that I wouldn't be able to go to London this summer. That of course is the most devastating part.

Wouldn't it be lovely if they would allow me to start at the end of the summer? Probably not gonna happen. Again, this is all assuming that I am even offered the position. My husband, the ever practical man that he is, keeps telling me to just focus on the interview first and then cross the other bridges when/if we come to them. It's just so much easier said than done.

I'm Going To Be An Aunt

2011-03-29T06:34:00.001-07:00

My sister in-law called this weekend to share the good news. Sister in-law is husband's only sibling and thus this will be the first grandchild in his family. There was some talk a few years back about not having children (this nearly caused world war 3 with my in-laws) so it was actually a bit of a surprise to learn that they were going to have a baby. I'm not incredibly close with sister in-law. We get along fine, her husband drives me nuts (I believe I've discussed him before). I'm really happy for her and especially happy for my in-laws who have been dreaming about a grandchild since my sister in-law got married almost 7 years ago.

I had plans to go back to our hometown next weekend for a bridal shower so I decided to also go out to see sister in-law and their grandparents while I'm in town. I know it's still really early, but I couldn't resist getting her a few things for the baby.

I found these adorable little bibs and onsies at Carter's over the weekend. I happened to be grabbing a delicious coffee beverage at Starbucks and as I was walking back to my car I saw these in the window. I also saw that everything in the store was 50% off and when I walked in I was handed a 20% off coupon for spending $40. So basically they were telling me that everything was practically free. So I went overboard. They won't know for a few weeks if the baby is a boy or a girl, so I stayed safely in the "neutral" zone and purchased everything with a little ducky on it. How can you resist the world's cutest ducky robe? The only thing cuter is the matching slippers. You can't really expect the baby to wear the robe without the matching pj's, can you? They also say "squeeze me". These had little built in duck booties too. I'm new to baby clothes so this entire store just blew me away with cuteness. I can already tell that I'm going to have a problem with baby clothes impulse purchasing for this child (as well as my own).

Research

2011-03-24T08:37:00.001-07:00

Now that I'm over my feelings of guilt for abandoning my closest friends on the most important day of their lives (kidding), I'm really getting exciting about our upcoming trip to London. I studied abroad in London almost ten years ago and I have a lot of fond memories. I feel like it's been such a long time that I hardly remember the city at all. It's funny because I spent most of my time abroad pining away for my future husband back in the States (he did come to visit me for a week while I was there, but he hardly remembers). It's actually kind of funny that I'll be going back there with him and we can share in this experience together. I'm also excited about the fact that this time around I'm not going to be a poor college student and can actually indulge in some of the finer things that London has to offer.

I noticed on our trip to Mexico that I was charged some pretty exorbitant foreign transaction fees on both my credit and debit cards. I hadn't really thought about that since the last time I was out of the country was on a tour of Ireland and I didn't really charge anything and brought all of the cash I needed with me. I've started researching the best credit cards and ATM cards to take with us. I found and applied for a Capital One Visa card that has no foreign transaction fees so I'll try to charge as much as possible. I also think I'm going to open a BofA checking account as I will be able to use any Barclays ATM in London free of fees with a 1% foreign exchange fee. I think that will save us from paying a fortune in extra costs just to access money. Anyone else have any advice?

I also purchased a few travel books. I'm a huge nerd and love to fully research a place before I visit. I know that I've spent quite a lot of time in London, but lets be honest, the last time I was there I was a 20 something kid who was more interested in the local pubs and nightlife than the history and architecture of the city. I got a really fantastic book with all kinds of day trip ideas in and around Great Britain and walking tours of various parts of London. I intent to spend my days just wandering the streets of London and taking day trips outside of the city while hubby is "training".

On the weekend I hope that we can take a few long trips to Paris, Cork and Madrid or Barcelona together. We've both been to Ireland together (Dublin and the SW coast), but not Cork. We've both been to Paris separately, but I got food poisoning the first night I was there and never fully recovered, plus it was snowing and so cold that the Eiffel Tower was closed. Neither of us have been to Spain. I really want to go because it's not that far and could be done in a weekend, but I'm not sure if we could really do it justice in just two short days. Then I'd also like to make some trips to Northern England and the coast. I'm sure this is all very over ambitious of me to try to cram into two months, but I want to make the most of this opportunity.

London Calling

2011-03-21T09:01:00.001-07:00

Lots of new developments to share. Turns out that Hubby's training in New York this summer will actually be in London. This was quite a shock as we were already starting to plan our summer around our NY location. It's hard to complain about getting to spend two months in London (relatively) free of cost, but I'm still a little disappointed. Many of the things that I had already planned with family and friends will now have to be cancelled, but many new things have developed which I am looking forward to even more.

Unfortunately, that means that the five million weddings we've been invited to this summer we can no longer go to (I have to return for a wedding that I'm a bridesmaid for in late August, but I'll be flying solo). I will probably head over to London late to attend the wedding of our very close gay friends, but Hubby will miss it by 3 days and it hardly seems possible to arrive in London and fly back 2 days later. I'm very, very excited about the trip, but I'm also very, very disappointed to have to either miss or attend solo so many weddings. I'll also have to miss my best friends bachlorette party (though I am surprising her by flying out to her bridal shower in a few weeks so she can't be too upset with me).

The other thing that is holding me back from being over the moon about London is my job search. At least if we were in New York I could fly or take the train for any potential job interviews. Now, I'm not even sure what I'm going to do. I suppose I'll continue to apply for things, but if anyone is actually interested in meeting with me I'll probably have to just do a phone interview or pray they will wait a month or two for me to get back.

I'm such a practical person that it's hard to just say f*ck it and run off to Europe for the summer without thinking about the future. However, the other part of me knows that we're in a much different financial position than we were when I lost my job and we moved for hubby's business school. We will have an income while we're over there and when we get back. I really should just let loose and enjoy myself.

We're already thinking of all of the places we can travel to on the weekends. A close friend of mine has actually been working in London as a consultant this year and will be over there all summer. She's going to fly out her boyfriend (who went to business school with hubby) to spend the summer over there as well. So now I'll even have someone to site see with during the day.

I think I just have to get over my guilty feelings about work and missing other people's weddings. I know I would understand if a close friend had missed my wedding for an opportunity to live abroad for the summer. I just don't like dissapointing people.

Hot Like Mexico

2011-03-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

I have returned from my glorious Mexican vacation. It was an amazing time, spent with amazing friends. Because I'm lazy, here's some photos summing up the trip.

This is the wonderful all-inclusive resort that we stayed at in Playa del Carmen:

Most of our time was spent enjoying the breathtaking Caribbean Sea:

Most of our evenings were spent indulging in the all-inclusive beverages:

We spent a day exploring the Mayan ruins in Tulum and Coba:

We climbed to the top of the pyramid temple in Coba, one of the last ruins you can still climb on:

Overall, it was a FUN vacation. I wouldn't call it relaxing (not with all of the late nights and day drinking), but it was a really great time spent with some really great friends. I haven't been on a vacation with such a large group (12 total) since college and it was a lot more fun than I remember such large group trips being. I think staying at an all-inclusive cut down on a lot of the decision making friction that often comes with spending a lot of time with a big group of people. We're already planning our trip for next year!

Thursday Funny

2011-02-24T13:52:00.000-08:00

I've seen this posted a few times on Facebook today so I thought I'd share it with anyone who may have missed it. Pretty funny. I was never involved with Law Revue at my school and I'm not sure they were ever quite as funny. Shouldn't these kids be studying or trying to find a job or something (jk). Enjoy!

Job Search Depression

2011-02-22T08:08:00.000-08:00

As the days and months creep closer to July, I am becoming increasingly anxious about my impending job search. We are officially moving back to big city at the end of June. I'm extremely nervous about how I'm going to leave this job when I don't have anything lined up. I've been so slow at work lately that I'm not even sure if anyone would notice if I just never came back, but I know that the partner who hired me is going to be pretty upset when I give my notice. His one reservation in hiring me over someone else was that he know my situation and didn't want to hire me because I would probably be leaving in 2 years. I may have exaggerated our interest in staying full time in this city, hence my reservation about now leaving after just under 2 years.

I've started applying to jobs that are either way out of my reach, but seem like something I would love and things that I'm way overqualified for just to see if I can get someone to call me back. I applied at a really great boutique firm that specializes in an area of law that I don't have a great deal of direct experience in, but that I would love to work in and learn more about. They were looking for an entry level person so I figured I'd be a great fit with several years of experience. Guess not. I received a rejection e-mail from them this morning. I'm not sure how I'm going to find a job if I can't even get something entry level. Hence the depression.

Stupid Things I've Done Lately

2011-02-16T07:22:00.000-08:00

I don't know what's been going on with me lately, but I've been very absent minded/accident prone recently. For example:

- Before entering the car wash the other day I forgot to roll up my window and was startled when water sprayed into my car. Luckily it was as I was rolling in and it was only the undercarriage spray, but regardless I was wet and smelled like soapy car wash for the rest of the day.

- For the past several mornings while adjusting the visor in my car I have hit myself in the face hard enough to induce stars and leave a slight bruise on my forehead.

- Spill coffee all over myself (twice) while attempting to drinking from my travel mug out of the wrong end.

- While trying not the run over my neighbors cat, I backed up over our trash cans and strewed garbage all up and down the street.

I think I need a vacation.

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T08:34:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day has gotten off to a lovely start. Husband prepared me "heart" shaped pancakes this morning and had my coffee all ready to go. He of course did this to make up for the fact that he had to cancel our dinner tonight because he has a group meeting. We moved the dinner up to Sunday night so it really wasn't a huge deal. I'm still planning to make him a special strawberry dessert tonight so that will be enough of a celebration for me.

Since we moved dinner up we also exchanged gifts early. We normally don't do any big gift giving for Valentine's Day. To be honest, we normally don't really celebrate Valentine's Day (ever since the year he sent me flowers that I didn't receive until the day AFTER Valentine's Day, it really ticked him off). I was a little taken aback when he told me that he had gotten me a gift that I was going to love. He mentioned it was a much bigger gift than we are accustomed to giving for this day and I of course knew that this meant he wanted me to get him something that he'd been hinting at.

My husband has become a bit obsessed with Apple products. It started with the iPad, then we got iPhones for Christmas. He bought me the new Nano for Christmas (thought I still had a perfectly good Nano) and confessed he mostly bought it because he liked it and wanted to play with it. So of course, the only product left to get was Apple TV (I know, not a very romantic gift, but its what I knew he wanted). If you ask me it's pretty much worthless, but he insists it's essential to watch all of the digital copies of the movies he has on his iPad. He rarely wants anything so I figured what the heck.

My wonderful and thoughtful husband purchased these Tory Burch shoes for me that I've been wanting for a long time. I could never justify spending that type of money on a pair of flats.

I guess he overheard me talking with one of my friends at a party about them and somehow got the idea that I REALLY wanted them. I have always wanted a pair, but I think he secretly saw an angle to getting Apple TV before his birthday. I must admit it was well played on his part.

I hope everyone else has romantic valentine's plans.

Mexico Countdown

2011-02-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

Every morning I wake up and as I'm stumbling out of bed I think "X more days until Mexico". Have I mentioned how excited I am about this trip? This will be the first "real" vacation that hubby and I have taken since our honeymoon (which was only a year and a half ago, but who's counting). I can't wait to sit by the pool/beach, read a book, drink a margarita and generally have a blast.

We are staying at one of those all-inclusive resorts in Playa del Carmen. I've never stayed in one before so I'm not quite sure what to expect. On all of those travel websites people seem so opinionated and picky. I read one review about the place we're staying at and someone seriously complained that the staff spoke Spanish. Seriously, Spanish, in Mexico, NO WAY. That sounds like a completely stupid American thing to complain about (actually the commenter was from the UK). Most of the reviews say the same things about musty smells and mediocre food, but there are just as many positive reviews that balance all of the negative out. It makes it impossible to rely on so many contradictory reviews. Therefore, I intend to go with an open mind and hope for the best. There's an in-room liquor dispenser for god sakes, it can't be that bad.

The one thing I do worry about is getting sick. I tend to have a weak stomach when it comes to travel in foreign countries (I actually lost 10 lbs in college after visiting hubby while he was abroad in Italy). I'm also worried about sun + in-room liquor dispenser. I'll have to remember to indulge in the bottled water along with the margaritas.

Happy Groundhogs Day!

2011-02-02T07:05:00.000-08:00

I've often wondered where the tradition of pulling a groundhog out of a hole to predict whether winter is over really came from. I love the movie Groundhog Day, but have always thought that the actual tradition was a bit strange. Apparently this year, Phil didn't see his shadow so spring is on its way. I guess the Midwest didn't get that memo.

Today, for once, was actually a nice sunny (though still cold) day with rain replacing the almost daily snow showers. Most of the snow has melted away, but I'm sure a new snow storm will be on its way soon. I actually like the snow. I wouldn't say I love cold weather, but I do prefer extremely cold weather to extremely hot weather. My mother lives in Florida and I refuse to visit her in any of the summer months. You can always put on more clothing, but there's only so much you can take off (in public at least).

I also like living in a cold climate because it makes taking a vacation to someplace warm in the winter exciting. If you live in Florida year round, going to someplace that's even warmer just doesn't seem thrilling. I guess the nice thing about living in a cold climate is that the seasons actually change. I can remember spending Christmas in Florida and wearing shorts. It's just unsettling.

Speaking of warm weather vacations, next month I will be taking a much needed trip to Mexico. I can't wait to just sit at the beach or pool and have someone bringing me an endless supply of margaritas. 30 days and counting!

Oh Where Oh Where Have My Assignments Gone

2011-01-27T07:45:00.000-08:00

Since getting back from vacation, now almost a month ago, it's been like pulling teeth to get something to do around here. I'm not sure what's going on because before I left for the Christmas holiday it was crazy busy and I was even called to work a few hours while I was on vacation. I can't seem to figure out why things have suddenly dropped off. My emails and voicemails asking for work seem to go unanswered. I may be overly paranoid, but this doesn't seem good.

It's much more difficult for me to get a steady flow of work than it is for associates in traditional practice offices. I feel so isolated sometimes working in an office that is geographically separated from the rest of my practice group. There are other attorneys working in this office with me, but they are all affiliated with other practice groups and have no real ability to assign me anything to do. It's a very strange situation.

For now I'm trying to take on some additional pro bono work to fill my days. Pro bono sounds so great, but most of the assignments are not really in my wheelhouse of expertise (not that I really have much of an expertise). I get nervous about screwing something up on pro bono projects that involve individual clients with very pressing legal issues. Instead, I generally work on research assignments for non-profits. I figure I can't really screw much up with research. The assignments never really seem that fulfilling, but I know that someone out there probably appreciates it. Especially non-profits without unlimited Lexis time.

Another Year Older

2011-01-20T11:54:00.001-08:00

Today I am another year older. I'm not a big Birthday person and this year is not really a milestone year for me. More than any other birthday I'm starting to feel my age. I don't mean that in a completely negative way. I'm just starting to realize that I'm quickly moving out of my 20s. The first signs of this were of course my incredibly shrinking metabolism and rather rapid weight gain. Also in smaller things like recovering more slowly from injuries. I also found my first gray hair this past year.

I'm also starting to notice that I'm growing up more mentally. In my early 20s I didn't hesitate to purchase something that I wanted, when I wanted it. Now I more carefully consider whether or not I need that extra sweater or pair of shoes. I guess I'm becoming more of a saver. I think a lot of that comes from getting married and realize that it's not just MY money anymore, but it's OUR money.

Husband and I lived together for several years before we got married and always more or less treated it like OUR money, but it wasn't until after we got married that we really sat down and had a serious conversation about how much debt (me lots, him none) and how much savings (me little, him lots) we collectively had. I think it was after this conversation that I realized how grateful I am to have such a hardworking and generous husband. He's very supportive of me working or not wanting to work. We really have a 50/50 partnership and each take turns supporting one another financially while we've been in school. On this day, my birthday, I realize how truly lucky I am to have such a wonderful person in my life.

This birthday was less about presents (though I did get surprised with these cute UGGS after we'd already settled on a birthday dinner and no presents) and more about self reflection. I'm really trying to change the way we eat and exercise so that we can age gracefully. I know that sounds kind of cheesy, but I'm worried about being an unhealthy elderly person and given our past fast/junk food diet and excessive drinking it was a big concern for me. My in-laws have been very sweet and supportive of our lifestyle changes (they are in incredibly good shape for their age) and got me this great food processor to help with my goal of becoming a better (ie. healthy) cook.

Getting Creative in the Kitchen

2011-01-18T10:47:00.000-08:00

Ever since going back on the South Beach diet I've been craving comfort foods like never before. I've never been someone who really craves sweets, I'm more of a savory food craver. I'll crave french fries and buffalo wings before chocolate or cake.

I've gotten a bit tired of the strict South Beach recipes so I've branched out the either making up my own recipes as I go along. I also came across this website that I love. So far I've only tried the chicken pot pie soup and it is incredibly delicious. We've eaten about half of the soup so far (it was a huge hit with the hubby) and I'm thinking of freezing the rest and a few weeks from now heating it up in the oven with reduced fat crescent rolls on top to give it a real pot pie crust.

It's pretty easy to stick to the diet when I'm working at home and have time to cook. It's more difficult and tricky to bring a healthy meal into the office. I'm not a big salad person so I generally stick the soups for work. Eating out is another story. Only on a few occasions have we gone out since we've started the diet. Half of those times I've done a good job and ordered a salad or some grilled fish or chicken. The other half of the time I've said screw it and ordered whatever I felt like having. That there has been my weakness. That and alcohol.

This weekend was also particularly hard on the diet given all of the football. It's hard to say no to buffalo chicken dip and beer when you're surrounded by it. I guess working on the will power is next.

Things That Annoy Me

2011-01-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

I'm in a particularly bad mood today (not sure why, just woke up on the wrong side of the bed I guess). Since I started talking about moving in my last post I wanted to again express how ecstatic I am to get back to that wonderful section of the country I've called home for the past decade. Everything drives me crazy about this new small, backwards city/area of the country I find myself in. I don't want to be mean and start stereotyping an entire region of people, but this is my own blog and I'm in a bad mood so I can write what I want for therapeutic purposes.

First off, nobody knows how to drive. Well I should say they do know how, they are just overly cautious to the point that everyone drives below the speed limit. It drives me up the wall. I'm used to a big city where everyone drives with a purpose and if you don't get your a** moving when the light turns green you're going to have a chorus of horns honking at you. In this small city it seems as if nobody is in any particular hurry to get anywhere. Don't even get me started on everyone's inability to merge onto the highway. I nearly rear ended some pathetic woman this morning who actually slowed down and then stopped on the on ramp while attempting to merge onto a three lane highway. I nearly died. How can someone not understand that stopping is probably the worst thing to do. How is one supposed to accelerate to merge onto the highway from a complete f*cking stop!!!! Not to mention the fact that there was a good quarter mile merging lane ahead of us. I see shit like this on a daily basis. It blows my mind.

Let's not even get started with the highways decorated with dead deer (many of them missing their heads from weirdos stopping and cutting them off for souvenir, true story). I've even seen hunters along the side of the road chasing deer out from stretches of woods. I'm not used to this, nor will I ever be.

It also seems that the whole smoking will kill you campaign has not reached this area of the country. I feel like everyone smokes. It's been a long time since I lived in a state where you can still smoke in bars. I do not like the nostalgia of it. Let's not get started on how proper nutrition is also not a concept that has reached this part of the country. Everything comes fried. I've seen things on menus at restaurants that I didn't even know it was possible to fry.

Enough ranting. I feel like a b*tch. Thank you for humoring me while I get my aggression out. Okay, back to work.

It's Cold Outside

2011-01-11T08:47:00.000-08:00

It's cold outside and I'm unmotivated to do anything other than surf the internet and dream about my upcoming vacation to Mexico. We're not going until March, but I'm still counting down the days. This unmotivated thing is really annoying considering I just got back from vacation.

So far the diet has been going, meeh. I lost 5 lbs last week and have been slowly gaining back about 1/2 lb a day since then. Not really sure what's going on, but I'm sure it has to do with the fact that my body is just readjusting to the water weight that I took off and am now gradually putting back on (or something like that). The motivation is slowly waning. I'm craving sushi. I think I may get sushi with brown rice from Whole Foods for lunch. I'm craving something other than vegetables and beans in a bad way. If I see another bowl of chili or black bean soup I will scream.

Not much else exciting to write about. Husband started his last semester of business school yesterday. I can't believe this journey is already coming to an end. When we first moved here it seemed like 2 years was going to drag on forever. I was miserable at first, but slowly after finding a job I pulled myself out of my year long depression and started to enjoy myself again. Now that things are coming to an end and I have to start looking for yet another job I'm starting to feel the depression slowly creep back in. I have trouble sleeping sometimes at night worried that when we move back I'll be unemployed again for another year. I'm not sure I can take the feeling of failure again.

New Years Resolutions

2011-01-04T07:23:00.000-08:00

Waking up and dragging myself out of bed this morning after over a week off from work was the lowest point of my new year. The second lowest point was the after holidays weigh in where I decided that my new years resolution this year has to be to loose some of this "graduate school" (funny I'm not even the one in school) weight. I have officially put on 15 pounds in the last year and a half since we moved here and it's only going to go downhill from here if I don't nip it in the bud.

Hubby and I started on the South Beach diet again (he for the first time) and we're dedicated to helping each other drop some of the added weight we have put on. He's being very supportive and I think it's so funny watching him pour over the recipes in the book and decide which things he can and cannot eat. I know a lot of people think diets don't work, but this has worked in the past for me and I think it does help us make better choices about what we are eating now and in the future.

My third resolution is to be more thankful for my husband. I really don't give him enough credit for all that he does. He's a wonderful man who doesn't hesitate to run errands or go to the grocery store to pick up an ingredient that I missed. He makes dinner for me several times a week when I'm running late at work. He does more housework than me and he gets up early on Sunday morning when I'm hung over to clean up from the party we most likely had the night before. He is constantly telling me how beautiful and funny and smart I am. I'm generally thankful in the moment for these acts of kindness, but I'm quick to anger when something goes wrong. I want to be more easy going and appreciative of my wondeful husband all of the time and to remember all of his good intentions when he happens to do something that really ticks me off in the moment.

Christmas and New Years were a mixture of relaxation and boredom. We spent the first part of last week at my in-laws house. I think it was one too many days with them, but we were stuck without a lot of escape options due to the lovely storm. The second part of the week was amazing. We spent the New Years at a friends cabin skiing and generally having an amazing time with some really good friends.

Leaving the airport on Sunday I was happy to be getting back to my own bed and back to our amazing friends in little city, but a part of me was sad to leave a city that I love so much. Thankfully we will be returning for a good in a few short months. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

Holiday Travel

2010-12-21T11:51:00.000-08:00

Trip number one back to Big City was successful. We were there for merely 48 hours, but packed that time with lots of activities. We visited with family and friends and generally had a wonderful time. My in-laws took us to a wonderful dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. It reminded me of how much I love Big City during the holidays and how excited I am to return in just a few short months.

We visited with my husbands grandparents. As I mentioned before, my husband's grandfather was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. He seemed to have lost a significant amount of weight since we last saw him, but other than that he had his same sense of humor and great attitude. We're going to take them out to lunch on New Years day when we return from our New Years Eve ski retreat. They were excited. We let them choose the place and of course they chose their favorite restaurant, Olive Garden.

Work has begun to slow down, but of course there are those manic moments of trying to get multiple deals closed before the holidays. When I sent out my "out of office" reminder I got an email back from my managing partner asking if I would still be available during the time I was out of the office. My first response was hell no, it's my vacation don't bother me. But of course, because I always feel obligated I said that I would be available with a few limitations due to travel, etc. It's so annoying to know that I'm sitting here right now doing nothing, but someone easily could contact me sometime next week with some "emergency" and I would feel obligated to drop everything and help out. I really shouldn't complain because my position is really less stressful than a partnership track associate, but I thought the reason they were paying me a laughable salary was so that I could take vacations without feeling guilty and not be on call 24/7. I guess there's no way of escaping those inconveniences in biglaw, even when they promise it won't happen.

Busy Holiday Season

2010-12-15T13:13:00.000-08:00

Well Christmas is almost upon us and I can't believe how quickly this month has gone. I have been extremely busy, working the past few weekends just to catch up on work that I haven't been able to get to during the week. Thankfully I've got all of our Christmas shopping done and we are ready to go back to Big City for the holidays (how we're going to get all of these presents there is another issue).

We are going up to Big City on Saturday morning for Husband's family's Christmas party. His grandfather was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (never smoked a day in his life) so this sadly may be his last Christmas so we didn't want to miss the big family party. We are flying back to Little City on Monday morning so that I can work and then flying back up to Big City on Christmas Eve for Christmas and New Years. Lots of back and forth, but I'm looking forward to it. In addition to seeing family we'll get to spend time with our friends that we haven't seen since the summer.

I'm also looking forward to my in-laws pampering us and taking us out to dinner while we are visiting. Since their retirement and our moving away, they are always so excited to see us and love going out to eat and doing things with us when we visit. My sister-in-law will not be joining us for Christmas this year (we'll see her this weekend at the family party). She usually spends Christmas Eve with us and then Christmas Day with her husband's family, but this year they decided to go on vacation to Florida. My in-laws thankfully aren't too upset about this because they will be joining them for New Years Eve at their winter place in Florida. It will be a bit of a lonely Christmas with just the 4 of us this year, but I'm glad not to have to spend the weekend avoiding my brother-in-law, so it's a win win.

I've been feeling very festive this year. I think it's because Christmas was pretty much skipped last year. We didn't have any decorations and we also decided to skip presents for each other because I had been unemployed for so long we thought it best just to save money, which was a pretty smart idea. This year I am so thankful that I have a job even though I may not be making as much money as I used to. At least I'm getting great experience and most importantly I have a job when so many people are still out of work.

I made a ton of Christmas cookies for various parties and cookie exchanges last weekend. Here's a picture of some of my efforts:

I doubled my favorite gingerbread recipe from childhood which of course yielded over 100 cookies that I then had to frost and decorate. It took most of the weekend, but I had a really great time doing it. I've also been volunteering at local malls gift wrapping for charity. I love gift wrapping so it's great that I can use my talents to raise money for the humane society and local food banks.

Happy Holidays!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

2010-12-03T08:06:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving has come and gone (had a great dinner, best in recent memory). Now it's on to Christmas. Hubby and I didn't waste any time getting our Christmas tree up and (what little decorations I brought down with us from Big City) decorations out.This is the first real tree that we've ever had together. We have a pretty nice fake tree that I purchased for like 90% off after Christmas one year, but didn't feel like lugging it down here for just one year. Last year we didn't even bother getting a tree since I left all of our decorations back home. I'm pretty happy with it. Even though it was threatening to fall down when we first put it up. Luckily hubby is such a great critical thinker and used some wire to tie the tree to the stair railing that's behind it. It was a great fix, but now the Christmas tree shakes like crazy everytime you walk up and down the stairs. Oh well, at least we won't wake up in the morning and find the tree in the middle of the floor.

Work has been CRAZY, like out of control CRAZY. I have at least one closing every week until the end of the year. Some weeks I have multiple closings. This month is going to be a nightmare. Luckily I am taking the week between Christmas and New Years off so my holidays will not be ruined.

If you don't hear from me for awhile have a happy holiday season. Happy Hanukah to all of my Jewish friends out there!

Thanksgiving Preview

2010-11-23T08:03:00.001-08:00

I am extremely excited for Thanksgiving this year. Husband and I usually spend the holidays with his family (last year we all went down to Florida), but this year we decided that we were flying back to Big City too much in December (we will be there 3 out of the 4 weekends in December and the entire last week for Christmas/New Years). Given that we have spent several thousands of dollars on plane tickets (granted WE only actually purchased one set of tickets, but still) we decided that enough was enough and we were going to stay put here in Little Town and spend Thanksgiving with our friends who are remaining in town as well.

There will be three couples and we plan to start the day at 1:00 and just continue eating and watching football all day. I'm sure that massive quantities of wine and turkey will be consumed and I couldn't imagine a better way to spend the holiday. This will be our second Thanksgiving as a married couple, but it feels like the first since we're actually spending it exactly the way that we want.

Husband and I actually spent our first Thanksgiving together in Italy back when we first started dating. He was studying abroad in Florence and I came out to visit him for the week long Thanksgiving vacation (oh how I miss college). It was such a wonderful time. We actually almost forgot that it was Thanksgiving until we got to a restaurant and the waiter got to talking to us about America and reminded us that it was indeed our Thanksgiving. He immediately removed our menus and announced that he was making us a Thanksgiving dinner. It consisted of roasted chicken, mashed squash and turnips, cranberry salad and of course pasta. It was an amazing meal and a holiday that I will never forget.

I do love Thanksgiving. It's a holiday where nothing is expected of you other than to show up and eat and enjoy the company of those around you. Unlike Christmas there is no expectation of gift giving (though I do love Christmas). Husband's favorite holiday is Christmas and to indulge him we will be picking up a Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving and setting up all of the decorations. Last year we didn't even bother to decorate so this year I'm especially excited to dust off the old decorations that I haven't seen in a year and enjoy our last year in Little Town.

Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Travel Recap

2010-11-16T14:37:00.000-08:00

Last week was incredibly busy with travel for work and various other projects coming to a close. I had a successful trip to my firm's New York office and met with many attorney's I have worked for, but have never met in person. Generally the experience was great and was a good networking opportunity for me. I even met the paralegal who had previously been driving me nuts, but actually really like her (she took me out to lunch one day, which was really sweet). I think meeting her in person has helped me to understand her particular quirks which previously I didn't understand and drove me crazy.

There were some awkward moments during my trip. Many people asked me strange questions about my role at the firm and the particular office that I work in. Much is unknown about my role/office and I felt like I was telling the same story/facts over and over again. It was generally good, but I still think there are some attorneys in my practice group who are unwilling to jump on board and include me in their various projects.

I didn't get back until late Sunday night. My flight was delayed for over 2 hours and once we got on the plane it sat on the tarmac for another hour. I did finally make it home to a wonderful home cooked meal at a friends house.

Business Travel

2010-11-05T08:08:00.000-07:00

Next week I will be embarking on my second (first to this office) business trip since I started at this firm over a year ago. I'm excited and extremely nervous. This wouldn't really be such a big deal if it wasn't for my somewhat nontraditional role in the firm. As I've said many times before I work from home 2-3 days a week and when I am in the "office" I don't actually see any of the other attorneys that I work with. There are several other attorneys in my role in this office, but the majority of people working here have internal functions within the firm (IT, marketing, finance, etc.)

Most of my interactions with the other attorneys I work with is over email and the occasional phone call. It's strange working with people on a daily basis that you hardly know and have either never met face to face or only on one occasion. My entire department will be at the meeting and I feel like I'll be the only one who doesn't know at least a handful of other people. Also, because my role is non-partnership track I hope that (I'm not sure how to put this exactly) the others don't look down on me or think that I'm unimportant. I don't think anyone will be rude to me necessarily, but I do feel a sense of inferiority in my position (which may actually be my own preconceived notions and not what others actually think).

I'm scheduled to be gone from Thursday to Saturday, but because of an extensive project I'm working on I was asked by the paralegal if I would be able to stay through the weekend to work. Because I am unable to say no to anyone I told her that I could make the arrangements. Luckily when the partner on the transaction heard about this he said not to make plans just yet. That typically means that it's not going to happen so I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Thanks to all of you who sent me comments on my last post. It was helpful!

Questions on Reproduction

2010-11-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

If you are a man, you should feel free to skip over this post.

I've been taking birth control pills off and on since I was in undergrad. I'm pretty bad about remembering to take the stupid pill everyday and often end up stopping and starting at various points during the month (yes I do realize that this makes the pill ineffective in preventing pregnancy). This is generally very annoying, but every month I vow to do a better job and remember to take the stupid thing. Then of course I forget one or two in a row and its back to the drawing board the next month.

As I'm clearly an unreliable pill taker, I've recently begun contemplating an IUD, specifically Mirena. I had my annual exam yesterday and brought this idea up to the doctor. It was a man (not my usual doctor, but I'm so transient these days I haven't had a "regular" doctor since I was kid). He seemed to think it was a good idea and admitted that there were often side effects, but that if I had no problems with birth control pills over the years I would most likely be fine with Mirena. He didn't really seem to have a great deal of knowledge about it.

I immediately went home and began doing more extensive research on the topic. It seems like everyone out there has some sort of horror story about IUDs and Mirena in particular. This of course has really started to freak me out and I'm now reconsidering if it's such a great idea. So my question to all of your out there, have you had an experience with Mirena? Would you recommend it?

I'll most likely go through with it (I have an appointment scheduled next week), but I'm curious if anyone out there has any experience good or bad they'd like to share. I'm generally not the type of person to over analyze these things, but I do eventually want to have children and I don't want to ruin my chances of conceiving in the future in exchange for the convenience of not having to remember to take a stupid pill everyday.

Happy (Belated) Halloween

2010-11-02T08:49:00.001-07:00

I'm a few days late, but Happy Halloween. I haven't really gotten into Halloween since I was a kid, but with hubby back in graduate school there seems to be tons of parties and excuses to get all dressed up. We went as Juliet and Sawyer (aka La Fleur) from Lost.

I thought it was pretty good costume idea. Hubby and I were big fans of Lost. It was pretty easy to put together (though those khaki colored jump suits were a bit hard to come by). I even used some of my nonexistent creative skills and embroidered the characters names on the jumpsuits. It was a very comfortable and warm costume idea, but not the most figure flattering (not that I was planning on being a "sexy" anything).

Another really fun part of Halloween this year was carving pumpkins. For the first time since we've lived together we had a front porch. We'd never bothered getting pumpkins in the past because they get gross and moldy when you keep them inside too long. This is my creative efforts this year.

I think they came out pretty well if I do say so myself. The vampire one in the middle is my favorite. Those little carving kits really work. So much easier than using a knife. Halloween was really a blast this year! I was bummed that we only had two trick-or-treaters. I had two bags of candy waiting, but they never showed up so I guess hubby gets to indulge his sweet tooth.

Today I am feeling terrible. I have a stuffed up nose and a sore throat that just won't go away. I'm "working" from home today so it's hard to complain. Hubby was so sweet this morning, he brought me a variety of medications, a glass of orange juice and my blackberry. All of the things I need to survive this day. My head feels like it's disconnected from my body, but at least I can breathe.

Carb Update

2010-10-21T10:30:00.001-07:00

I'm continuing to "follow" the South Beach diet. I made it on and off through 3 weeks of Phase 1 and have been on Phase 2 for the past several weeks. I know it's not really a diet when you don't follow it on the weekend, but hey at least it's something. I initially lost about 7 lbs and then we went on our great Northwest Adventure where I gained 3 or 4 back. I'm not sure how many lbs I'm down since I started this whole experiment in dieting (I don't actually own a scale), but I can tell you that most of my pants fit me now and that was my ultimate goal in the first place. Let me tell you that whole wheat bread never tasted so good.

In other news. The colleague from my last post (who was moved due to her loud talking and frequent outbursts) has come up with a completely new way to make me uncomfortable. I have to walk past her new cube to get to the kitchen or the bathroom, basically to get anywhere in the building. I've noticed her glaring at me a few times this week (I've only been in the office 2 days this week), but I wasn't sure if it was directed at me.

As I was making myself coffee in the kitchen this morning I overheard her talking to some of her new office neighbors. She was explaining that her office was moved because "the attorneys that work in the building are all a bunch of stuck up a**holes who think they're better than the rest of us." Of course she knew that I was standing within hearing distance and she obviously knew that I was there at the time she said it. I'm starting to fear for my safety at work. I'm afraid I'm going to come into my cube/office some morning and find a charred cat (ala Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) (sorry if that was a little too graphic). I think I may just have a bit of an overactive imagination.

Peace and Quiet

2010-10-18T08:46:00.000-07:00

When I first started this job, I was told they were planning to build offices for the attorneys in the next few months. Fast forward to a year later and I'm still sitting in the same miserable half cube-half office situation. All of the attorneys were kind of scattered throughout the building in various locations, until recently they began moving most of us into my area.

There only remained one woman who worked in a completely different department sitting directly across from me. This woman is the most annoying individual I have ever encountered in a working environment. She is constantly either on the phone (personal calls) or is engaged in loud personal conversations with people over at her desk. She paints her fingernails (yes you can smell the fumes) and bitches loudly about her co-workers and her boss. She seems to forget that we're all working in little more than cubicles and everyone on the floor can hear her.

It got to be too much for me when a few weeks ago she started this Friday treats thing where she would make cookies or brownies and have everyone come over to her desk. This would of course start an hour long conversation with each individual who came over. It was a nonstop party at her desk every Friday. Needless to say I wasn't getting much work done. Everyone else sitting around me was annoyed with her too, but we all kept our mouths shut because she is so unpleasant. Once someone asked her if she wouldn't mind taking her personal conversation to the kitchen area and she exploded. Ever since that incident I've been afraid to say anything to her. I'm also only in the office 2 or 3 days a week so I didn't want to invoke some kind of revenge on her part and come in one day to find my office turned upside down.

Last week I couldn't take it anymore. I had heard every single detail of her vacation at least a dozen times and I had a mountain of work I was trying to get through. I e-mailed HR and diplomatically stated my grievances and asked that either she or I be moved. Thankfully I was not the only person to have complained and they assured me that she would be moved by the end of the week.

When I walked in this morning to see that her cube was emptied out I did a little dance and threw my ear plugs away. At least that's one work irritant I no longer have to deal with.

Still Here

2010-10-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

Haven't written anything in awhile. I've been busy/not interesting for the past couple of weeks. I have been discovered by a random paralegal, in an office I don't usually work with, in a department that I don't belong in, that has made me her b*tch. I've been doing work for her nonstop for the past few weeks (and all this weekend). She just informed me that she will continue to "utilize" me for the remainder of the month and the next few weekends. Great.

I wouldn't mind if it was something interesting or even useful to my practice. However, I'm doing some of the most mind numbing tasks she can think of. Meanwhile I'm having to turn down more substantive work from my regular assigning attorneys. She literally has me renaming files and copying and pasting documents. I am racking up the hours, but in my position my hours don't technically count. I'm really not pleased. I'm even more displeased at the person who told her that I was available at her disposal 24/7.

Back from Vacation

2010-09-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

My vacation last week was fabulous and much needed. I spent several wonderful days becoming reacquainted with Seattle and showing my husband where I'd grown up. We met up with several of my high school friends, it was great reconnecting with people that I have known for so long but have been out of touch with for almost as long. My husband really liked the city and was amazed at how truly beautiful the Pacific Northwest is. I've always talked about it, but he didn't really get it until seeing it in person.

We headed down to the Oregon coast for a college friends wedding. The drive was long and twisty, but we made it in one piece (in our very cool fake-PT cruiser rental). We stayed in a huge 10 bedroom house right on the beach and though the weather was a bit chilly we had an amazing view of the Pacific Ocean out every single window. All of my husbands college friends were there and it was pretty hysterical seeing them all back together and reliving college memories.

The wedding was very unique and like no other wedding I've ever been to. The bride and groom are very outdoorsy and the wedding was a little crunchy (ie. there were appetizers made with wheat germ and some guests were wearing overalls and flannel). It was a beautiful setting and a really touching ceremony and I'm so glad we were all able to make it. The older we get it seems like the only time we all get together is when someone is getting married. For now that seems to average about once a year.

Our trip back was nothing short of a nightmare. We took a very late flight back from Portland, but when we were about the return the rental car we both realized that we'd fogotten to refuel so we quickly punched the closest gas station onto our Garmin and went to top off the tank. The first two gas stations were closed and just as we were about the return to the airport and suffer the oppreseive refueling charge we stumbled across and opened gas station. We then endured two very long flights and ended up at our destination a full ten hours later. Our checked bag didn't make the connection, but was thankfully dropped off at our house later that night.

Pacific Northwest Adventure

2010-09-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

Husband and I are headed out to the great Pacific Northwest for a wedding next week. We are flying into Seattle and spending 3 glorious days in the city where I grew up. We are then driving down to the Oregon coast for a wedding and flying out of Portland. It's a shorter trip than I would have liked, but husband can't/won't miss an entire week of classes. Most of my immediate family has moved from the area so husband has never been, in fact, he's never been this far west before (not counting a few business trips to CA).

I'm so excited to show hubby where I grew up and to see the city again for myself. The last time I visited was Christmas of my junior year in college. I can't believe it's been nearly a decade. I love Seattle and loved growing up in such an outdoorsy and beautiful place. When I went off to college I fully intended to return to Seattle, but then life happened and here I am.

I haven't really kept in touch with friends from High School. I actually had a really close group of girlfriends and we were inseparable, but then I went thousands of miles away for school and haven't returned since. I'd like to say that I've kept in contact with them over the years, but sadly I suck at long distance friendships. I'm friends with most of my close high school friends on Facebook, but it's not a regular thing for us to send e-mails or catch up. I posted on Facebook that I was headed out to Seattle and immediately received a rush of messages and inquiries about my stay. I'm not sure if I'll actually meet up with anyone, I'm a little nervous to see people that I haven't seen in so long. I think it would be nice, but I'm not sure how much fun husband would have catching up on a decade worth of missed gossip. Who knows, maybe it would be nice to meet up for a drink.

Progress

2010-09-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

So I think I may have lost some weight (this would be much easier to tell if I owned a scale). I tried on some of my pants that didn't fit a week ago and they are still snug, but at least I can zip them up and wear them even if they are still somewhat uncomfortable. I'm taking a step in the right direction at least.

This weekend I planned out all my meals and snacks and made a huge long grocery list of things that I would need. Buying all fresh vegetables and lean meats/seafood is a bit more expensive than my average shopping list, but much cheaper than buying a whole new wardrobe so it's worth it. I spent all day yesterday making soup, salad dressings and these delightful vegetable quiches to eat all this week. I'm surprised at how flavorful and tasty the South Beach recipes really are. I'm eating the black bean soup I made yesterday and it's delicious. We also had this shrimp stir-fry for dinner last week that is really good and much better than the stir-fry recipe that I usually make.

In work related news I am very very busy. I had to turn away a few assignments last week. It seems like nobody ever comes to me for assignments that can be done in a few days. They all have to be done that second, therefore I can't possibly take more than a few of these things in a day if I'm going to stick to my promised 40 hour work week. If I was at my old firm and was still being paid my outrageously high salary I would take every last assignment I was given and work till midnight to complete them, but in my capacity now I'm not paid to do that. If the firm wants me to work the hours of a partnership track associate then they should be paying me more. I know that sounds bratty, but quite frankly it's the truth and what is fair.

Dieting

2010-09-09T10:01:00.000-07:00

So the weather turned unexpectedly cold over the weekend so I went into my closet to put on some pants. Guess what. NONE of them fit other than a pair of streach jeans that were embarassingly tight. I've finally come to terms with the fact that I have put on a ton of weight since we moved to this little city. It probably has something to do with the fact that we drink pretty much all weekend every weekend and I eat like crap.

I have two choices right now (1) buy bigger pants or (2) go on a diet/exercise plan and lose some weight. Since I figure I have a few weeks before I have to start wearing pants again I decided to try the South Beach diet. My in-laws have gone off and on this diet for years and have always raved that it's easy and works quickly. I ordered the book over the weekend and began an modified Phase 1 diet this week. So far so good. I miss bread and sugar, but if I can get through these first two weeks the Phase 2 part of the diet is isn't so different from my normal eating style (minus the beer).

My goal is to lose 5-10 lbs in the next month and hopefully fit into my pants hanging in the closet. If not, I'll have to start buying bigger pants. If you've tried the South Beach diet let me know how you liked it and if you have any favorite recipes.

Going Back

2010-08-31T09:01:00.001-07:00

Husband got a call last night from his internship boss last night (of course the call came right when husband was about to put steaks on the grill, always an inconvenient time). Anyways, boss basically wants to know if he's going to accept his offer. This really ticks me off because his offers states that he has until the end of the year to accept. Last time I checked it wasn't even September yet. Boss proceeds to talk husband's ear off for a good 45 minutes until I nearly passed out from hunger and husband told his boss he needed to grill some steaks.

We had our second talk about this opportunity (first talk didn't go so well). I've had time to think about it and I have decided that I'm just going to have to learn to accept this. I'm not entirely happy about the prospect of spending the next few years basically living the life of a single person with a phantom roommate, but I know that this is what husband wants and I have to be supportive of that.

Husband is 99% sure that he's going to accept the offer, but wants to check with his school to see if there is they think he should negotiate his salary. I think he should.

Finish Line

2010-08-26T06:56:00.001-07:00

Husband has finally returned and it feels like I just crossed the finish line of a marathon. The summer when surprisingly quickly, but in retrospect I realize that I had a really good time. I made some good friends and I lived independently.

It's now strange having husband back. I feel like the house is mine and everytime he moves or rearranges things I just want him to put it back the way that it was. The bathroom is already a mess with his shaving stuff everywhere and don't get me started about the magazines on the floor (why do men need magazines in the bathroom, just get in do your business and get out, it's not a freakin library).

In internship news, husband got the offer. We tried having "the talk", but it really went nowhere because he already knows how I feel. He had valid points about why he wants to take it and what it means for our future. I'm starting to feel like my complaints are not valid and that I need to just let him do his thing. I know this may sound like I've given up or resigned myself to this, but I think I've just made peace with the fact that my husband will never be a 9-5er. No matter what he does it will always mean a serious commitment from him. There's no changing that about him and trying to would make him unhappy.

The Interwebz

2010-08-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

When I first started this blog I never really thought there was any way people would know who I was. I was just one of the many insignificant first year associates in a large city, how could anyone pick me out of a crowd. I started off thinking that and then as the posts continued and I shared a little more about myself I started to think that it was obvious who I was. Like some kind of spotlight was shining on me. I have never been outed and as far as I know nobody in my "real" life knows about this blog. I don't think I'm embarrassed or ashamed about anything I have posted. I do think if I knew people who "really" knew me were reading this I would censor myself quite a bit.

It's really a shame when you've been following a blog for so long and then unexpectedly it's gone because some people on the interwebz are CRAZY! I think that as society is continues to rely more and more on the internet and digital communication that things like this are bound to happen, but it's not right. Living your life in a open forum is becoming increasingly dangerous. We don't give a thought about having a loud conversation with friends at a bar or talking to strangers at cocktail parties, but we have to be worried about writing an anonymous blog. I'm certainly not worried that some weirdo is going to follow me home from the grocery store, but now I am worried that some cyber freak is going to become obsessed with me and try to find me in real life.

Sometimes you have to learn from your mistakes

2010-08-20T09:01:00.000-07:00

Last night I got together with my girlfriends and the whole unfortunate incident was discussed. I said a few things at the party to other people that I was told in confidence by my friends. Obviously I overstepped the line by discussing things with other people and directly to the people themselves about things that I should not have even known about in the first place. Needless to say there are a lot of people out there who are not happy with me. Bottom line, I'm ashamed and embarrassed about my behavior. I feel really terrible for getting drunk and having diarrhea of the mouth. It's certainly not the first time that something like this has happened, but I'm really disappointed in myself that I'm still doing things like that at my age. I guess you're never too old to have bad judgement. I feel terrible and I gave a heartfelt apology to my friends. I know this has damaged our relationship, but the only thing I can do is move forward and work hard to ensure that this doesn't happen again. No more hard alcohol for me.

Apparently, I also blabbed about the problems I've been having with husband. My friends were very concerned about this because I hadn't told them we were having any issues. They didn't know about the week that husband and I didn't speak to one another and the screaming fights we have been having all summer about his job. I think once they heard this they understood my behavior a little better and were mostly concerned and a bit sad that I hadn't felt comfortable enough coming to them to talk about my problems. I'm not good at talking about my emotions and unfortunately when I bottle it all up inside it comes out at the most inappropriate times. I really need to work on that.

In other news, husband will be coming home tomorrow. I'm looking forward to his return, but I know that we have a lot of serious talks in our future. I know that he went out for dinner last night with a few head honchos and they basically strong armed him into accepting a position on the spot. I think if I hadn't made my feelings known all summer about the job he probably would have accepted. I do feel a bit guilty that maybe I'm holding him back, but I also want what's best for us and those two things appear to be mutually exclusive.

Sometimes you just have too much to drink

2010-08-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

I've been very busy at work, combined with a weekend away with friends to visit my husband. I haven't even been able to read other blogs (which I usually do even when I don't have time to post myself). I'm so sad to hear about the disappearance of Cee (Cee, if you're out there please send me a link/password to your new blog). Loosing a blogger friend is almost more sad than loosing a real life friend because there's no way to silently stalk from afar like on facebook and you always wonder what happened to them. I hope you are well Cee and that you'll join us again one day.

Here's a recap to the weekend and an explanation of this blog post title. The weekend was really nice overall. Great beach weather, lots of good friends and an incident in which I had way too much to drink and made a huge fool of myself. Saturday started out like any other great beach day. The weather was nice, but a bit overcast so I sat in the direct sun all day (usually I sit under an umbrella or beach tent as I'm prone to sun/heat stroke). I was feeling fine until we got in the car to go change before a friend's BBQ. By the time we get back I know that I'm completely dehydrated and close to mild sun poisoning, but we have friends in town and I don't want to slow down and ruin the party.

We head out for an afternoon/evening BBQ that is accompanied by huge amounts of alcohol. There are margaritas, sangria, mojitos, jello shots, you name it. I'm like a kid in a candy store. I'm not exactly what you'd call a lightweight, but I do have trouble identifying my limits, especially in situations where people are plying me with drinks. I guess you could say it was a combination of the dehydration and massive amounts of alcohol, but the next thing I remember its the morning and I'm asleep in my bed at my in-laws house. My head is pounding, I can't feel my legs and husband is awake next to me just shaking his head. He's not entirely pissed off, just a little concerned about me. Needless to say I can't remember how I got home or even if I did anything truly horrendous.

Mostly when I have too much to drink I just say stupid things and occasionally I end up crying about something completely random. I wouldn't say I'm a good drunk, but I'm not someone who gets drunk and breaks things. At this point I'm really embarrassed for whatever it is that I did, but I'm too ashamed to ask husband what happened and then have to rehash the whole night. I find it's better not to ask too many questions and hope for the best. The friends that are staying with us don't mention anything, but they sense that I'm very hung over and embarrassed about what happened. I feel like I should apologize, but I'm not quite sure what for and I don't want to bring it up. We go to meet up with two other couples who were also at the BBQ. They don't mention anything either, but they are a little distant with me. I'm hoping that I didn't say anything terrible to them, but I'm sure husband would have mentioned it if I did.

It's now a few days later and we're all back in little city. I still feel there is some sense of awkwardness with me and them. I feel so embarrassed that I let myself get so intoxicated. I really hope they don't think any less of me, but I just don't want to bring it up an rehash any details of the evening. I'm sure that they are thinking I was completely immature and irresponsible for getting so intoxicated, but it certainly wasn't on purpose. I'm in a very weird place where I feel like I should say something, but I just don't have the guts. Hopefully with time the weirdness will fade and I will be militantly watching my alcohol consumption in the future.

On a happier note, husband finishes his internship on Friday and will be home Saturday! Let the new school year begin.

Time Zones

2010-08-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

One of the most annoying aspects of my new job is the fact that 75% of the attorneys I work with are in a different time zone than me. It always seems that when my day is wrapping up their day is just getting into gear. It's annoying for a multitude of reasons, but mostly just when people forget about the time difference and expect me to get something done that night when it's already late evening for me. For the most part people are understanding and reasonable, but of course this is a large law firm and many times I get screwed.

It would be fine if I was a regular associate and getting paid to work long hours, but my position is supposed to be different. I'm not supposed to be required to work at all hours and in exchange they pay me significantly less than other associates. I'm generally fine with this trade off, but when it doesn't always work out that way I feel like I'm being taken advantage of.

Take for example last night. Big important partner I was working with had me write a memo about a new federal regulation. It was a very straightforward memo and he was happy with it. I "left" (working from home makes "leaving" work nearly impossible) at my normal time and continued on with my regularly scheduled evening. Because I work from home I have my office line forwarded to my Blackberry. This is very convenient, but creates awkward situations when someone calls me after hours and I don't know whether I should pick it up or just let it go to voicemail and deal with it in the morning.

Several hours later my Blackberry rings. Inthis case I answer it because I know it's the Partner I've been working with. Not even realizing how late it is and how strange it is that I would answer my phone at this hour anyways, partner starts asking me a million questions a minute about new questions he has. I try my best to both answer and scribble his questions down. Of course most of these questions I can't answer myself and most are purely administrative questions that I'll have to ask someone in the federal gov't office. I tell him this and he says great, give them a call now and let me know what they say. As politely as I can, I remind him that it's after 9:00 pm on the East Coast and surely there is nobody in the federal gov't office at this time. Then it finally dawns on him what time it is for me and apologizes for bothering me so late at night and at home. This is fine, I appreciate the acknowledgment and apology.

He then goes on to say, "well since you're already working, would you mind being on call to help out [senior associate] with some additional work." When confronted with these situations I'm always uncertain of what I should say. I want to be treated as an important member of the group and not just someone who does stray assignments here and there. The other part of me knows that it's not required of me, nor is it encouraged that I work after hours (sets a bad precedent for myself and other non-partnership track associates). Generally if I'm not doing anything I will say it's okay and of course I did last night. So I waited around for several hours until after midnight I still had not hearing anything from senior associate. I sent a quick email saying I would work on anything first thing in the morning and shut the Blackberry off. I get an email this morning from senior associate saying she didn't even know that I was available to help, guess partner forgot to tell her. So annoying, yet so typical.

Is it August already?

2010-08-02T09:04:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe how quickly this summer is flying by. I seriously thought that it would drag on and on without husband, but sure enough it seems like the time has rocketed by. Hubby will be coming home in 3 short weeks and I'm actually going up to visit in 2 weekends. The trip up is kind of strange because it's the weekend before hubby comes back, but three other couples from B-school are coming up with us to visit the lovely ocean side town where my in-laws live. My in-laws were kind enough to lend us the house for the weekend so we're pretty excited to be hosting our new friends.

One of these couples is getting married next May and I was so pleased and honored when she told us this weekend that we're invited to her wedding. We've become such close friends over this summer process that I shouldn't be surprised she's inviting us, but I certainly wasn't expecting it and I'm glad that she wants us there.

In other news, had my teeth cleaned at the dentist this morning. I hate going to the dentist for the sole reason that I feel like the dental hygienist always are judging my oral hygiene. I hate being instructed on how to hold my toothbrush, floss daily, etc. I don't want to be judged, I just want you to clean my teeth. I'm not as diligent at oral hygiene as I know some people are, but I brush my teeth at least twice a day and occasionally use mouth wash and fluoride rinse. The one thing I do not do is floss my teeth. I'm a bit embarrassed about this, but lets be honest most people don't so it's not like I'm in the minority here. I typically try to floss at least the few days before my cleaning because I feel like if it looks like I floss daily the dental hygienist is less likely to scold me.

Compromise

2010-07-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

So after several days of not speaking to one another, husband finally called a truce. We have agreed not to argue about something that's not going to change for the present time. We have agreed to revisit the topic once he gets home. He did admit that he's not sure he likes what he's gotten himself into and agrees that he will look for private equity jobs before accepting any offers. I was happy enough with that and felt like we had reached a good compromise.

In other news, my focus while working from home has been less than stellar lately. I always finish my billable work and am constantly seeking out more work when I have free time. However, I was given a never ending nonbillable task to work on when I'm not otherwise occupied with billable work. The nonbillable task is boring, tedious and confusing. I'm not sure what I'm doing and constantly feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I've been less than inclined to pick it up when I'm working from home and as a result have not gotten very far with it. As a punishment for my "slacking" I think I may force myself to work from the office more next week. I probably still won't work on it. Ugh.

Arguing

2010-07-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

To say that husband and I have been getting along for the past couple of weeks would be a lie. It's pretty hard to fight with someone who's hundreds of miles away, but somehow we're managing to do it. I would say that the arguing is mostly my fault and I'm ashamed to admit that husband has done very little to deserve it. I'm angry and frustrated with his internship and the possibility that we are returning to the awful lifestyle of investment banking once again.

I will admit that I have been unfair to husband, but he in return has not been understanding of my feelings and concerns. He has been working until 11 and 12 at night EVERY NIGHT and every weekend since he started his internship. The only weekends he didn't work were our anniversary (he did work for several hours that weekend, but from home) and 4th of July weekend. I know that I'm not there so he has no incentive to get home early (which may be part of it), but I'm terrified that when/if he takes this job it will be more of the same. I refuse to go back to spending my evenings and weekends by myself, cancelling all planned vacations and nights out, not being able to make plans with friends and family, etc.

I'm angry and upset and frustrated and it's not really husband's fault (other than the fact that he loves what he does no matter how much I hate what it does to our lives). I know that I have been expressing my feelings irrationally by not speaking calmly to husband about why this lifestyle upsets me and by not presenting my arguments rationally to him. The problem is that I waver back and forth about his profession so much. I struggle with the fact that on the one hand I know he loves it, that he's great at it and the quite frankly he makes a great deal of money and on the other hand it makes me miserable and lonely because I don't get to spend as much time with him as I want.

I wish I could be one of those understanding wives who accepts the sacrifice and is happy to just be around their husband when they do see him. The problem with me is that I let me anger build up and then when he is around we tend to argue because of my resentment and pent up feelings. It's a never ending cycle and I don't want to live my life that way again.

He doesn't understand what is making me upset this summer he doesn't see his working so much as problem because I'm not around. While I agree with this, he refuses to look beyond this summer into our future to see what accepting this job will mean for us and our potential future family. I know that he is just trying to get through this summer and that I'm making it hard on him, but I just want him to understand how I feel. I'm afraid that I'm putting unnecessary stress on our marriage and I am upset with myself for that, but I'm not sure how to deal with the way that I'm feeling.

Shopaholic

2010-07-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

Ever since husband left for his internship my shopping habits have gotten out of control. When he first left I bought myself a little something to make myself feel better. Then I started getting flooded with sales e-mails and discount codes for all of my favorite stores so I figured it wouldn't be that bad if I just bought a few summer things. Then I would just go out "window shopping" with the girls and wind up buying a truck load of stuff I didn't really need. I always seem to rationalize my purchases by saying that I'm saving so much money on food with husband gone and gas now that I work from home so much. I think the insanity has to stop.

After coming back from my vacation over the 4th to visit husband I discovered that my digital camera had just stopped working. Literally would just not turn on. I was so annoyed and angry with myself for breaking my camera again. After considering all of my options it was probably the most economical to purchase a new camera. Yet another purchase to fuel my shopping addiction.

In honor of the new digital camera and my "final" purchase for awhile, here are some photos of my latest sandal purchase.

I'm not really one of those girls who's really into shoes, mostly because I don't trust my own taste. Husband likes to say that I have old lady taste in shoes (mostly because I only really like/wear flats). I really love the yellow ones and they go perfect with a new summery yellow dress I just bought. I'm still trying to decide if I like the ones with the blue flowers. The flowers look a lot more green in person and I'm not sure if the rhinestones look tacky or cute. Thoughts?

Spoke Too Soon

2010-07-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

So, maybe this working from home thing doesn't work all the time. Let me tell you that yesterday was a terrible day when it came to telecommuting. I had about a million things to do and almost zero time to do them in. I was under a tight deadline and on top of that was dealing with some of the worst technology issues I have ever experienced.

First, my printer jammed and then broke beyond any kind of repair. So I was forced to toggle between about 5 different documents in order to finish the 100 page legal opinion I was working on. All that would have been fine if not for the fact that I kept getting booted out of my work's online network. In order to work from home I use my home computer and login with remote access. 95% of the time this works great and I have zero problems. In fact, this method is generally faster than my outdated work laptop. I called the help desk at my office and they tried everything to fix the problem. Finally, after there was nothing they could do they suggested it was my at home internet connection. So I call my internet provider and of course there is nothing wrong with the internet connection. They suggest it's my wireless router. Great, like I have any idea how I'm going to fix that problem.

Finally, I send all of the documents to myself and work from my home computer without connecting through my works network. That would have been just fine if the 100 page legal opinion I had been working on would have saved correctly to the system. Unluckily for me, because I had been booted out of the system so many times all of my saved changes were completely gone. I had to start over. I literally cried. For 10 minutes I pitied myself and screamed and yelled and then I got back to work.

If I ever have a day like that again I will seriously reconsider if I want to ask about working from home when we move. I don't think I can be productive if I have to deal with anything like that on a regular basis.

To top off my already wonderful day, I accidentally broke my garbage disposal. I was tired and exhausted, wasn't thinking and put down a whole plate of artichoke leaves. Yeah I could have told myself that was going to jam up the garbage disposal. Ugh! Yesterday was just not my day.

Working From Home

2010-07-12T12:04:00.000-07:00

Now that husband is gone for the summer and I have a great new office space, I've been working from home more frequently. I really only go into the office now when I have some sort of meeting (rare) or if I have a large amount of documents that need to be printed out. I also like to go into the office at least one or two times a week for human interaction, but most of the other attorneys that work at my office also work from home several days a week as they too live about an hour away.

I really do love working from home, but I sometimes feel a little unmotivated or distracted. However, I do tend to get more done because my home computer is much faster than the relic I have in the office and I don't have the distraction of other people talking/on the phone all the time around me, which is really distracting for me. There's also the little problem of sleeping in. It's hard for me to get out of bed in the morning when I know that I can pretty much do the work that needs to be done at any time. Add to that the fact that most of the other attorney's I work with are in a completely different time zone. I know that if I'm going to continue working from home I have to be more structured with my time. Hopefully I will get more disciplined over time.

I had my first review last week. Overall, all of the partners and associates I work with had very positive things to say about me. They thought that I was very responsive and had a great attitude. All things that I have been trying extra hard in this position to project. Working with people that I never see face to face has its challenges, so I try to compensate for that by making myself available (even at inconvenient times) and always remaining positive about having to work odd hours.

During my review, the topic of when my husband would be done with school and what are future plans are were touched upon. I tried to remain very vague about our future plans, though I'm almost 90% positive we will be returning to our old city after graduation. It really sucks that my new law firm has offices all over the country/world, but not in old city. I'm pretty bummed because assigning partner mentioned that if we move to a new city that has an office they would be happy to let me transfer.

I'm thinking that next spring I start asking about the possibility of working from home full-time. I'm not sure if they'll go for it, but I practically do that now. The closest office to old city is about an hour plane ride so I could easily travel to a physical office once in a while if need be. I think it's at least worth making the ask. It would be wonderful if I didn't have to look for another job when we move. At least this time around we'll have the luxury of husband being employed while I look.

Fourth of July Hangover

2010-07-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

I had an AMAZING vacation last week. It was so nice to be back in our old city, visiting with old friends, going to the beach and having our friends from new city come to visit. It was pretty much the best 4th of July I can remember on record. The weather was beyond gorgeous and we went to the beach three days in a row.

Hubby and I had a great anniversary. I wasn't actually expecting much of a gift from him, but he surprised me with this gorgeous necklace which I was completely not expecting. I was shocked and then immediately felt a little guilty because I certainly didn't get him anything as extravagant. He did really like his gift and I think he did appreciate the thoughtfulness. He recently wrote an article about his MBA experience for a national publication and I had the article framed for him. I wasn't able to bring it with me, but I showed him a picture of it and he seemed to really like it. We spent the entire day together and had a great dinner on the water. I couldn't have asked for a better first anniversary.

I didn't realize how much I missed my husband until I had to get on the airplane yesterday morning and say goodbye. It was so wonderful spending time with him again. Coming home yesterday I felt so in the dumps being back by myself.

My good friend in new city, who is also originally from old city, just moved into a townhouse right next to our new place and I was busy yesterday helping her move in while also "working from home" for the day. It's so hard getting back into the swing of things at work. I spent most of the day reminding people I was back from vacation and ready for more assignments and luckily I received a few. The downside of that is of course that I now have to actually do that work. Bummer.

To top off my return home the power on our whole block went out last night. Which of course meant no AC in the 90 degree weather. I spent the night sleeping on a friends couch and am exhausted today. I really hope that the power is back on because I really can't take another night on a couch, AC or no AC.

One Year

2010-06-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I am headed off for a week long vacation to visit my husband. Mostly he will be working and I will be trying to occupy myself, but I'm looking forward to it none the less. Looking forward to being back in my old city and visiting with friends I haven't seen since we were home at Christmas. A lot of friends from new city will be coming up to stay with us for the long 4th of July weekend. I'm excited to show them my favorite places, including where husband and I were married last year.

Our one year anniversary is Sunday. I can't believe that it's already been a year. I know people always say that, but literally I don't know how the time went by so quickly. Thinking back on this past year, we have been though so much together. We moved states, we quit jobs, we found new jobs and we made a ton of new friends. There have been some very stressful times, but overall this past year has probably been one of the best we've ever had together. We've returned to the more carefree people we were before law school, before a mortgage and of course before that awful demon I call investment banking. I know that next year will be even better. I just hope it goes by more slowly.

Roadtrip Fail

2010-06-23T09:03:00.001-07:00

So that little trip to Kentucky I had planned over the weekend, yeah, didn't happen. Friend's husband got stuck in the Chicago airport for two days and she had to wait around for him. By the time his flight got in, it was way to late to make the trip down. Super bummed, but hopefully we can plan for another weekend.

I spent the last two days working from home. It's nice now that husband isn't around. I am completely focused on what I'm doing with limited distractions and get a lot done. That is until I run out of work. After e-mailing a million partners that I have never actually met face to face, I wait for the work to come in and of course nothing. It's strange working from home, but not actually having anything to work on. I feel guilty if I don't sit in front of my computer and "wait for work", but I also feel kind of silly and like I'm wasting time. I usually end up catching up on some professional reading for a few hours, but after that I just kind of wait around for the blackberry to buzz. I'm not sure why it is that I feel guilty actually doing something non-work related at home during work hours when I don't feel the slightest bit guilty when I'm sitting in the office waiting for work and surfing the internet.

Husband survived his week of training in NY and started his internship on Monday. He of course was in the office until 11:00 p.m. on his first day and last night when home around 10:00 p.m. I think part of it is that he wants to impress and doesn't want to be the first person to leave. I hope this isn't a trend that continues if he chooses to be a full time associate. He seems to be happy so that's the most important thing. I'm sure when I'm at home waiting for him he'll have incentive to get his work done early and leave the office at a more reasonable time. It's going to be really hard to see him go back to this lifestyle.

Kentucky? Here I Come

2010-06-18T08:46:00.000-07:00

So this weekend I am headed to Louisville to visit a friend who is living there for summer. Her boyfriend is a classmate of husband and is spending his internship summer there. My friend is a consultant so she has the luxury of being able to fly anywhere her heart desires (in the continental U.S.) every Thursday evening. Personally I don't understand how one lives out of a suitcase, literally, but I digress.

I will be traveling there with a few of the other MBA-widows, as I like to call us, for a fun-filled weekend visit. Louisville is exactly not far enough to warrant a flight and exactly too far to really want to drive so we flipped a coin and decided to road trip it. I can't say I've ever been to Kentucky and may never have an occasion to go again so it sounds like a good idea. Lets see how I feel on Monday.

Aside from that, hubby is doing well in NY for his training week. He is being wined and dined, though slightly less lavishly than past summers given the current economic constraints on large banks. He's back to his old patterns of "forgetting" to call me until the wee hours of the morning. I am cutting him some slack because I remember how packed my days and nights were when I was a summer associate at my old law firm. I'm really glad that he's enjoying himself and meeting new people. I'm also fairly certain that after this one week of fun he will probably be worked till the breaking point. So I hope he enjoys it while it lasts.

And Then There Was One

2010-06-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

Husband left for his internship on Sunday. He's spending a week in NYC and then heading back to our old city for the remainder of the summer. We had a really great weekend together, going out to all of his favorite bars and restaurants and soaking up the unexpectedly nice weather we had. When I dropped hubby off at the airport he got a little teary eyed, which of course made me really sad. I think leaving is probably harder on him than it is on me. He seems more reluctant than excited about his internship and I feel badly for him.

He's going back into an industry that he spent 5 years of his life slaving away. I think he's apprehensive about whether or not he made the right decision by going back into investment banking. He spent long hours over this past year studying and doing group work, to the point where I hardly ever saw him, which wasn't much different from when he was an ibanker. My husband is no stranger to hard work and long hours, but I think he's not sure he wants to go back to the lifestyle and is worried that things will only be worse at a bigger bank. He took the internship because it was an opportunity to work for a bulge bracket bank (he used to work for a mid-sized bank) and frankly because of the economy it was the easiest job for him to get given his extensive experience.

I think he envisioned coming to business school, getting his MBA and breaking out into private equity or venture capital where the hours are less and the money is almost as good. Unfortunately, given the state of the economy those jobs just don't exist right now. I really hope that he enjoys himself this summer and isn't miserable like I know he was towards the end of his tenure at his old job. I really have a lot of respect for him and know that he is amazing at what he does, but I just hope for the sake of our family and future happiness that he is able to find a better balance. Only time will tell.

As for me, I've been keeping busy with my girls. I have such an amazing group of friends here, I'm really going to miss them when we take off for separate coasts next year. Sunday night we all got together to watch Dear John, cheesy movie, but I had a good cry. Last night we had dinner together and were set to watch the Bachlorette (I don't usually watch those types of shows, but it seems like a girly thing to do with the other ladies so I gave in) when of course my blackberry started going off like crazy and I was called away for an "emergency" closing. Granted I wasn't too upset to be pulled away from the Bachlorette, but I was a little annoyed. The whole point of my job (and why they pay me peanuts) is that I'm not supposed to have to deal with these types of last minute things, but because I have no spine and because my hours have been shit lately I took the work. I was up until 2 am putting executed documents together and PDFing signature pages. Not really glamorous work, but somebody's got to do it.

Last Weekend

2010-06-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

My husband will be leaving for his internship in just a few short days. I'm looking forward to spending this last weekend with him and soaking up all of the things I love about him. We had wanted to go on a bike ride or a hike, but it looks like the weather will not be cooperating with those plans. I'm sure we'll think of something fun to do, but most likely just huddle inside and watch movies. I'm really going to miss hubby these next 10 weeks, but I know that his internship is very important and I'm wishing him the best of luck.

Most of my friends who are staying in little city this summer have already said goodbye to their partners. We have standing date nights with one another to get out of the house for dinner, happy hour, etc. Next weekend we're going on a road trip to visit a city I've never been to. Then the following weekend I'll be going up to visit husband in big city for our anniversary and the fourth of July. It will be a week long trip and I'm looking forward to seeing hubby and all of our friends. Hopefully July and August will fly by.

Lately

2010-06-08T08:15:00.000-07:00

Had a great weekend. Hubby and I went to a concert on Friday to see one of our favorite bands. They are an indie/alternative rock band and whenever we go to their shows they have an equally large following of younger and older fans. It's always fun to go to these out of the way venues and see the mix of young and old enjoying great music. This particular venue was an old church turned bar/club. It was an all ages show so the bar area was separated from the venue by a very long bar going across the entire venue. Many under aged "kids" approached hubby and I to buy then a drink (not gonna happen). It made me feel so old. All I could think about was if that was my kid I'd be so pissed off he was trying to drink underage. It terrifies me to think that someday I will have a teenager. It almost makes me never want to have kids.

Saturday morning I also felt old when I woke up with my ears still ringing and my ankles and legs sore from "dancing" the night before. Now I understand what my mother meant when she said that you feel young at heart, but your body doesn't always agree.

It was a miserable day on Saturday with ran and thunder, which was a huge bummer because another band that hubby and I love was playing a free show downtown at an arts festival. We decided to brave the horrific weather and were not disappointed by the amazing concert.

It turned out to be a weekend packed with musical enjoyment. It was great spending so much time with hubby before he leaves for his internship. I'm driving him to the airport Sunday and he won't be back until the end of August. I'm really going to miss him, not just because he's my husband, but because he truly is my best friend and someone I love to spend time with. On the other hand, I am looking forward to spending the summer with the other partners who will be staying in small town while their husbands/wives/whatever leave for their internships.

Long Weekend

2010-06-01T10:26:00.000-07:00

Man is it hard to come back to work after a 4 day weekend. This weekend husband and I packed up our little loft apartment and moved less than a mile down the street to our beautiful new 2 bedroom townhouse.

After much packing and much moving I am happy to say that we are all moved in. Yes, that's right, after 4 days of moving we are completely unpacked and ready to go. Husband and I are kinda freaks of nature in that way though, we don't like to live in clutter and prefer to work for 12 hours straight rather than slowly unpack our crap.

We moved boxes over on Friday morning, I unpacked the kitchen boxes all Friday afternoon and then we took an extended trip to Lowes in which we purchased half the store. Husband was overjoyed at buying a grill, patio furniture and a hose. Saturday the movers brought the furniture over in the morning, we arranged everything in the afternoon and unpacked the remaining boxes.

Sunday husband woke up at 8:00 and immediately began assembling the grill. I headed back to the old apartment and cleared out everything that remained. Nearly two hours later husband was still assembling the stupid grill. I proceeded to clean all of the bathrooms, vacuum, clean the floors, arrange all of our clothes and decorate the place. Cable man came and hooked us up with cable/internet, who know the cable company made Sunday appointments. After only 5 hours husband had finally finished putting the grill together. I chuckled when I read on the back of the box that the assembly time was 45 minutes, yeah right! Poor guy then helped me to hang all of our pictures on the wall.

Sunday evening we had all of our friends who still remain in little town over for a BBQ and some cornhole. It's so nice to have our own patio and outside space. I love to entertain and I know that we will get a lot of use out of the patio area well into next fall. I am of course exhausted and could use a good massage, but it was nice to leave the house this morning knowing that we are fully unpacked and settled in. In all, the weekend was a great success!

In-Laws

2010-05-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

My in-laws showed up last night (a day early). It was overall a pleasant evening. We went to dinner at a little Italian restaurant husband and I have been meaning to try. I was absolutely exhausted because the night before I had a few too many glasses of wine with some of the ladies. I haven't been that hung over at work since I was a summer associate and let me tell you it was especially painful with the hour long commute.

I think I behaved pretty well for someone who was exhausted and hung over. I held back my inner cringe every time my mother-in-law squeed with delight at having missed me so much and when my father-in-law kept side hugging me at dinner and calling me his favorite daughter in law. Don't get me wrong, I love these people, but I just wish they'd take it down a notch or two. It isn't like we haven't seen them for years, it's been a few months, calm yourself.

Okay, now that I've released my inner bitch I feel better. I'm sure you now all think I'm a total jerk for being annoyed by two harmless old retired, well meaning, in-laws, but it's the internet so I don't really care if you judge me. I have to vent here because it really hurts husbands feelings when he catches me rolling my eyes or when I occasionally loose it and go off on a tirade about how his parents annoy me. It really isn't fair and I'm really really trying to work on it. Husband's parents are very generous to us and so sweet. I guess I'm just not used to it because my family is not close at all and my mother is very hands off. I generally talk to my mom a few times a month, but only when I call her because I think she feels like she's bothering me if she calls. I sometimes wish my mom was more involved in my life, but I'm such an independent person that I don't think I could take being in constant contact with anyone other than husband.

Alright, end of rant. I promise to be good this weekend.

Moving (Again)

2010-05-17T13:50:00.000-07:00

So I must be crazy, but at the end of the month husband and I are moving apartments. We currently live in a loft apartment. While it looks very nice with beautiful exposed brick walls and high beam ceiling, the walls between apartment are literally paper thin. No, I really mean it, I can hear my neighbors sneeze. It's a little unnerving at times when I'm by myself and all of a sudden I hear someone talking at a very normal volume and I almost think someone's in my apartment talking to me. I also have trouble working from home in a completely open space. Our desk is right between the kitchen and the living room so it's a bit distracting when husband is home and wants to do just about anything.

Our new place is less than a mile down the street. It's a spacious townhouse with an extra bedroom (for all the guests that we get, ha) and a small office for me to work from home. It also has a great patio so husband can finally get a grill and enjoy outdoor cooking for the year that we will be living there. I just can't wait for the additional space. Husband and I are starting to get on each others nerves now that he's out of school and there's literally nowhere to go to get away from one another when we're both at home.

This will be a really good thing for us, but I'm not happy that I once again have to pack up all of our belongs, knowing full well that this time next year I will be doing the exact same thing. Moving three times in three year is not my idea of a good time, but I guess by the end of it I'll be an expert packer.

Things at work have been going well. I've been very busy on a number of different closings. I had a chat with the managing partner I work with and he says that my review next month is nothing but positive so I'm happy about that.

Not much else is going on. Husband and I had a nice relaxing weekend. I caught up on the DVR. I'm preparing myself for a visit from the in-laws later this week. Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws, but they just have a special way of really getting under my skin. They are very sweet people, but they are always so overly concerned about things that are really not that big of a deal. If I have to hear them say one more time that they're "worry about us" over some minor thing I will scream. The plus side is that we'll get to try some of the nicer restaurants in the area and we'll get to do some of the touristy things around our new city that we haven't done yet.

One Year Down, One To Go

2010-05-10T11:49:00.001-07:00

My husband finished his first year of business school last week! I'm so proud of him and all of his accomplishments. He has done amazingly well in school and has a wonderful internship this summer. All of his success has shown me that moving to this new city has been worth it.

Sadly, in a few weeks husband is going to go back to big city for his internship. He will be away for a little over 10 weeks. I of course will be staying in new city because of my job. I'm a little jealous of the MBA student's partners who get to pick up and move to a new city for the summer. I'm sure that the 10 weeks will fly by and I have plenty of friends staying behind this summer to keep me company.

I am so blown away by how quickly time has passed. It seems like yesterday we were moving here and I was depressed about not having a job. Now I have a job and I'm already thinking about what my next step will be. I'm not sure where we will move to when this is all over, but I'm pretty sure we won't be staying in our current city. I'm more confident this time around that wherever we end up I will land on my feet.

Content

2010-04-30T09:46:00.000-07:00

I look at my life now and then back at this time last year. I was just beginning to think about embarking on this new life. I was scared and nervous about our financial condition, my future career, everything. Now I'm pretty content. I feel like I hit rock bottom last year and now I'm slowly starting to rise back up to the surface. It's a good feeling.

I think I can safely say that I love this new life. I think for the first time in a long time I feel grateful to have such a supportive husband, a "steady" job and lots of new and wonderful friends. Though I miss things about the old big city, I'm finally starting to appreciate things about the new small city.

While the commute for my job sucks, I'm glad to be working for a large law firm again. Though it's not exactly a traditional associate role, I'm still a valued part of the team. I'm glad I'm not busting my a** to make partner someday, but still receiving high quality assignments. I've been hearing lots of great things about my work from my colleagues in offices all over the country. It's been a challenge getting used to physically working all by myself and receiving assignments from disembodied attorneys in far off cities, but I'm starting to get used to it. Overall things on the job front are pretty good.

My firm is being recognized nationally for its unique approach to revamping the legal talent model and I'm proud to say that I'm a part of that. Hopefully more firms will start to embrace this approach and there will be more opportunities for people like myself who want to work in a large firm, but don't want to give their lives over to the firm in the process. When I met the managing partner of my firm he told me that I was making history in the legal profession and in a way I kind of agree with him.

New Job

2010-04-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

After realizing that I wasn't an MBA student, I started looking for a job with a greater purpose. I began meeting with contacts in the local area (law school alumni, undergrad alumni, etc.). I met a lot of great people, but in terms of job prospects I was no closer to a full-time job than before. As the beginning of October rolled around I reluctantly registered for the February bar and began brushing up on my outlines and trolling Craigslist for state bar books.

I had been interviewing, almost since the time that we moved, at a very large law firm about an hour outside of the current city we live in. This very large firm is based on the West Coast and happens to have a very random office in the middle of nowhere. The purpose of this office was primarily for HR, finance and marketing functions. However, given the rough economic climate, the firm came up with a brilliant idea to replace the laid off associates in the main offices with non-partnership track attorneys in this random office.

Over the course of several months I interviewed for a few different positions that were a bit out of reach with my level of experience. Suddenly, in mid-October a position opened up in a transactional department that was perfect with my previous experience. I began the interview process only to have it stall out a few times, but finally right before Thanksgiving I was offered a position.

I weighed the pros and cons of the job very closely. Cons - an hour commute sucks, pay was pretty terrible. Pros - an hour commute with no traffic not so bad, pay for the area actually pretty good, actual employment, actual employment at a great firm in a practice area I was familiar with. It seemed like a difficult decision to make, but actually looking back several months later it's not as though I had much of a choice. The bonus was of course that I wouldn't have to take another bar exam, too bad I'd already spent the money on the bar fees.

I mostly work for attorneys in the firms West Coast offices. Being that there is a three hour time difference, it makes life a little complicated for me, but for the most part it's working out. I'm also not a partnership track associate so I'm not required or expected to bill crazy hours. On the downside I don't feel I'm as respected as other partnership track associates at the firm, but the hours requirement is a good trade off.

My first week the firm flew me out to the West Coast to meet with my practice group, but it's strange working with people I have only met in person once or not at all. There are other attorneys working in the office with me, but they are in different practice groups and for the most part there isn't much interaction. Also, because the office is in the middle of nowhere, most of the other attorneys live in the same area as me and frequently work from home. I try to work at home at least once a week, but I always feel a little strange about it. Generally it makes me more nervous working at home so I'd rather just drive into work and not deal with the stress of worrying out getting in "trouble" for working at home. I think as I establish myself I will feel more comfortable.

I think for now this position is working out well for me. The commute is not ideal, but it's only for another year, and it's a great opportunity to continue my experience while my husband is in school. I'd say overall I landed on my feet and I'm feeling greater confidence that when we move back to big city I will have more experience on my resume and hopefully be in a position to lateral to a midsized firm.

Starting Over

2010-04-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

Husband and I arrived in new city last summer. We pretty much threw caution to the wind in decided to move far away from our old lives for husband to get his MBA. It seemed completely out of character for husband to quit his job and go back to school while I was still unemployed. I think in the end my unemployment actually pushed us to move on. Husband had been talking about going back to get his MBA since I finished law school. If I still had a job it would have been very difficult to leave it in such a terrible economic climate. It was a good time for husband to leave his job as well. He had reached the point in investment banking where he could continue on and be a slave to the firm for the rest of his life or get an MBA and try something new.

So there we were, in a new city, in the middle of a horrendous heat wave, moving into our new loft apartment. Lets just say that things were hectic. We had exactly a week before husband started summer sessions and then orientation. I still had no prospect of finding a job and of course throw into the mix the fact that I was not licensed to practice law in our new state. My spirits were not exactly what you would call high, but I was trying to keep an open mind for husband's sake. He was of course excited about starting school again and making new friends. I was doing my best to show my support and be happy for him even though on the inside I felt like everything had been turned upside down.

I initially began my job search by sending my resume out to every large firm in the city (which isn't many considering our new "city" is more like a large town). This approach was fraught with problems because of course I had such a unique resume for the area, but ultimately it would come down to the fact that I didn't have a license to practice law in the state and I had missed my opportunity to sit for the bar in June and would have to wait until February. Let's not even talk about the sense of dread I was feeling at actually having to sit for the bar again.

I finally did find a part-time job doing research and drafting various court documents I had no business drafting as I had never done litigation in my life, for a solo-practitioner in the area. It was a great relationship and a good opportunity to try something new while I was looking for full-time work. I ended up with a combination of this part-time gig and unemployment for several months. As the fall approached I almost resigned myself to the idea that I would just have to study for the bar exam in Feb and hope that by then there would be some movement in the legal market.

Then something funny happened. I started not to care so much about not having a job. Husband and I made friends, I became involved in the business school's partner's club and before you know it I was having the time of my life. I felt like I was in school again. We'd have friends over, we'd go to house parties, and stay up late. As much as I felt like my professional life was going down the toilet, I really felt like I was part of a great community of supportive friends that it almost seemed to make finding a job unimportant. Then of course, reality hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that we couldn't live on our savings and unemployment for two years, but it was fun while it lasted!

Gettin' Hitched and Moving On

2010-04-07T11:12:00.001-07:00

June of last year my fiance (we had been together for 8 years) finally got married. In the midst of organizing last minute details for the wedding, hubby and I were also planning our move to small city. This involved a last minute trip a mere 5 days before the wedding to look for places to live.

We spent a frenzied 2 days looking for a decent apartment in small city. Being used to a larger city and endless places to live this was a challenge for us. Small city is indeed a college town, but on a much smaller scale. Basically, good apartments are hard to come by. The up side to moving to small city is that the cost of living is nearly half. To give you an example, we now pay less for a larger apartment than we currently rent our condo in big city for. This is great because not only does rent cover our mortgage, taxes, etc. there's a nice chunk of income for us every month.

Finally the day of our wedding came. It was an amazing day, filled with amazing memories and passed much too quickly. We left the next day for our honeymoon in Maui and spent a glorious 2 weeks relaxing on the beach without a care in the world.

Reality set in big time when we came back. We had to vacate our condo in less than 2 days so that the tenants could move in. It was the most exhausting 2 days of my life, but somehow we did it. With our junk packed away on a cross country moving van, hubby and I drove off into the sunset to start our new life in small city.

Contract Attorney - Part 2

2010-03-29T14:13:00.000-07:00

My second experience working as a Contract Attorney was much more positive than my first. Though my first experience was meaningful, my second position was working with the actual in-house legal department for a large company. This was a legitimate position that was being filled by a contract attorney due to the company's hiring freeze. There was an on-going large scale project that I was hired to work on for the next several months. I was even told by the recruiter that it things went well and the hiring freeze lifted, there may potentially be a full time position. Given my situation I wasn't especially interested in that, but I was excited to be working in-house and doing meaningful work again.

The project involved a lot of regulatory research and a ton of meetings with the Assistant General Counsel who I was working directly under. It was a great opportunity for me to see what working in-house is really like. My ultimate goal is to work in house and this experience only solidified my desire. It was nice to have my own office again and to feel a sense of respect and appreciation from the other people I was working with. There is certainly stress in the in-house environment, but it's a different kind of stress and certainly nothing like having an angry senior partner with unreasonable expectations breathing down your neck. There were some stressful moments, but for the most part I was left to complete this one particular project and only occasionally was I called up on to work on other things. It was great to be able to coming in at 9:00 and leave by 5:30 and it was nice to see that everyone else seemed to work these same hours.

It was nice having my own office and a computer to work with, but the one downside to this job was a very long commute. The company was actually in a smaller neighboring city. The distance was about 40 miles, but the traffic made my commute over an hour sometimes. It was pretty awful, but I guess those are the sacrifices that you make in a bad economy.

Over the next three months, my husband finally decided which school he was going to attend and we began making plans to move to the new city. All the while, we were planning our summer wedding and the date was rapidly approaching. It seemed so much was going on in our lives at the time that the wedding planning was actually the least stressful part of our lives. I can honestly say that working on wedding related tasks were quite calming to me. I think having something to focus on that I could control was really helpful for me in such an uncertain and chaotic time in our lives.

Wedding Planning, Relocation and More Contract Work

2010-03-23T14:00:00.001-07:00

The holidays came and went and I continued to work in the bank's dungeon as a contract attorney for three months. The original team of 10 contract attorneys at this point had dwindled down to just a handful of us. One lucky individual had somehow found a full time job and had left on her own terms, but the others had been weeded out by the bank. There were some that did not fit personality wise and others were just no longer needed as the project narrowed and the budget shrank. There was even talk of the project continuing into the summer, but alas one day near the end of February we were told that Friday would be our final day. Due to budget constraints the bank could no longer continue to fund the project. Again I found myself a victim of the economy.

During the time I was working on the project I was continuing to look for full time work, but hesitantly. The reason that I was so content in my contract job was the I had no idea where we would be living come September. My husband (then finance) was applying to Business Schools all over the country and we wouldn't know until around April where we would be going. I was a nervous wreck about the whole situation, not to mention I was also planning a wedding, but I tried to be supportive for him because he was so excited to go back to school. The contract work was really a great distraction for me. I was hoping it would continue until the summer because it would have fit into our plans so perfectly.

When I found myself again jobless at the end of February I was so confused about what I should be doing. Naturally, the only thing I thought of that would make sense would be to find another contract job. There was a fair amount of document review out there, but I didn't desperately need the money and preferred to find something a little more substantive.

We still hadn't heard from any of the schools my husband had applied to. He encouraged me to continue looking for a full time job in our current city and if I found one then we would make the decision whether to hold off on school for him or live separately. Nothing sounded worse than getting married in June and living apart from my husband 2 months later for 2 years while he completed his MBA.

I did continue to apply for full time jobs, but I was always secretly hoping that I would never get an interview (which I rarely did). I began focusing primarily on the growing number of temporary and temp to hire contract positions that were available. While firms and companies weren't hiring full time a lot still had a lot of work that needed to be done. I got lucky and had a wonderful interview at a small firm that would have been a great fit, but they ultimately decided I didn't have enough experience.

The next interview I had was with a very large company. They had a project that was estimated to last for two to three months and were looking for someone junior with regulatory research experience. I was junior, but didn't have much in the way of the experience they were looking for. I went on the interview about two weeks after my first contract job ended and somehow convinced them that I would be a great fit. I started working for the huge company the following week. The two to three month timing was perfect. It would hopefully take me into June right before the wedding and then we'd move somewhere when we got back from our honeymoon. Things were starting to fall into place and I was beginning to breathe easy again.

Contract Attorney - Part 1

2010-03-18T12:21:00.000-07:00

So after much hesitation and reluctance I accepted the temporary Contract Attorney position that was offered to me. I figured I wasn't going to find a full time job before the Holidays and that it would be a good distraction for me. I also planned on continuing to apply for positions while I was working. The hourly rate was pretty depressing, but at least the work was a step above document review. I started on this job (which was supposed to last for 2 weeks) a little under a week after I was laid off. At the time, I was technically still "working" at my old firm.

The project involved auditing and remediating commercial loan files for a large Bank. I had plenty of experience drafting loan documents so I thought that it was actually a pretty good fit. When I showed up on the first day I was escorted to a very large back room in an office building that had the feel of an old warehouse. From the outside it looked like any other semi-suburban office building, but on the inside it was a whole different story. I was of course working at a facility where the bank kept all of the actual loan files and I soon became familiar with a room containing thousands of folders representing hundreds of thousands of loans. I would spend the next 3 months working at a folding table and chair in the most dusty and moldy office facility I have ever seen. There were actually sightings of mice and every morning the mice traps had caught at least a few unlucky souls.

I was not alone in this endeavor. When the project first started there was actually a full scale consulting team working on the project. Lawyers were brought in to the advise the consultants. It was actually quite fun answering the consultants questions and double checking their work. The other attorney's working there were a strange mix of individuals. There were a few who had just graduated and still had not found full time work. There was another associate who had been laid off from a large firm downtown (we became pretty close) and then there were just a couple of lifers who had never had full time jobs and just jumped from contract position to contract position.

Overall the work was somewhat satisfying, though very repetitive, but I can honestly say I did learn a thing or two. The experience was humbling nonetheless. Sometimes at lunch, eating my peanut butter sandwich in the facilities "lunch room," I would just look around and wonder what my life had come to. I had been knocked down so many pegs I felt like I was sitting at the bottom of a huge hole looking and marveling at how quickly I had fallen. I went from having my own office in a high rise downtown building with a beautiful view and a six figure salary, to a folding table in a room with no windows and so much dust my eyes burned and an hourly wage I probably could have earned just graduating from college. However, through the experience I gained a valuable insight and it was a good distraction from the chaos and uncertainty in my life at the time. It gave me a purpose to every day and a reason to get up out of bed and function as a human being. In short it turned out to be a good experience despite the many downsides.

Coping and Moving On

2010-03-10T08:06:00.000-08:00

After the initial shock wore off I tried my best to pull myself together and evaluate my next steps. Within a few days I had polished up my resume and had even begun apply for the few jobs that were out there (a "few" would be a total understatement). Unfortunately my layoff came just a few weeks before the economists and the government officially announced that we were indeed in a recession. That, combined with the approaching holiday season, made my job search all the more difficult.

I first started by visiting the career services at my law school. Though it was somewhat of a dead end they were able to guide me to the kinds of things I should be doing. Networking with alumni, accessing the career services jobs database, meeting with recruiters, etc. I began contacting alumni not only from the law school, but also from my undergrad. I probably met with over fifteen people in just a few weeks. Everyone was happy to talk with me, but the hundred pound elephant in the room was always the economy. Most law firms were themselves in the midst of layoffs and those that were financially sound were not going to hire anytime soon. Banks, large corporations, small businesses, and even the government were all experiencing hiring freezes. My hopes were quickly dashed with all of the typical avenues for finding full time employment.

My next step was to start talking to recruiters. Just a few short months before I was receiving telephone calls from anxious recruiters trying to place me in another firm, promising hiring bonuses and greater opportunities. The first thing that I quickly realized is that recruiters are similar to used car salesmen. They give you a great pitch, fawn all over your credentials, built you up and then never give you the time of day unless they can get something in return. Now this is not true for all recruiters, there is a different breed of recruiters, which I would later meet, that really improved my situation and helped me through a very transitional and uncertain time in my life. I'll get to them later.

After only a few short days I had probably met with every recruiter in the city. I still hadn't lost hope because only a week had passed since I had been let go. I was officially still employed at big firm for a few more weeks and would receive severance for many months to come. I was obviously eligible for unemployment and thanks to all of the government extensions I would be able to collect for close to a year. Money really wasn't the issue, it was my sense of belonging and feeling of self worth that was badly damaged. I jumped right into my job search before I had even begun the first stage of grieving. I would often leave my networking appointments and between meetings would find a Starbucks bathroom somewhere and just cry. It was all I could do to keep a straight face during these meetings. I tried not to talk about the details of the layoff for fear of bursting into tears and ruining any chance of making a good impression.

Then one day, out of the blue, I received a call from a recruiter who had been forwarded my resume. She had an immediate opening for a short term project. It was supposed to last for two to three weeks and they wanted me to start the following week. The company had already reviewed my resume and were eager to have me start ASAP. At first I was thinking this was a terrible idea. I know what people say about contract and document review attorneys and worried that it would be a stain on my career or just a complete waste of time. I told her that I would think about it. I began immediately calling some of my former colleagues to ask what they thought about this prospect. Even my former mentor echoed the same sentiment that it was an unprecedented time in the legal profession and that I should take opportunities wherever they could be found. That is how I found myself in the world of contract attorneys.

Beginning at the Beginning

2010-03-08T07:14:00.000-08:00

When you last heard from me I had just been laid off from big firm and I thought that my career and life in general were over. Part of me wants to skip over this part and jump right into what I'm doing and where I'm at now. However, if I truly want to put the past behind me and hopefully be a source of support and learning for others in this situation, I must share the details of my whole story without skipping over the miserable parts. So here goes, lets hope this doesn't get boring or weepy, or both.

So I guess to really start at the beginning I would have to share with you the actual way in which the news was delivered to me. This is probably one of the most awful and traumatizing parts and has vividly stuck with me all this time. I'm not going to say anything terrible or nasty about my old firm because that's just bad form and I know that they did what they had to do(just like many other firms).

I remember coming to work that day pretty early because I had an overseas conference call. During the call I received an e-mail from the firm stating that there would be layoffs that day. Knowing my current workload was light and my hours were laughable I had a sinking feeling that this e-mail was sent directly to me.

I spent most of the day scurrying from one associate's office to another. We were all on pins and needles that we were going to get called down to the dreaded conference room. We were keeping a tally of who was gone and who was still safe. My office line was constantly ringing, making me jump out of my skin every time, with news of yet other friend and colleague who would be sorely missed. There were legal secretary's and paralegals openly crying in the hallways and the body count was piling up.

When the end of the day came around and I had still not gotten that dreaded call I thought that possibly by some miracle of god I had been saved. I guess they were saving the best for last. All I can remember about my layoff speech was my practice group partner saying over and over that it wasn't a performance issue that it was due to the economy.

I was so shocked during the entire thing I didn't know what to say. I had remained calm throughout the entire conversation and was pretty numb to any feelings I was having. Then at the end he asked if I had any questions. I'm not sure why, but at that moment I looked down at my ring finger and the thought of my quickly approaching wedding came into mind. For some reason I just lost it and all I could muster up to say was, "what about my wedding, what am I going to do now." I know it was a truly small thing to be thinking about in the grand scheme of things and I'm sure the partner was probably thinking that's the least of my worries, but to me it was the one thing that just sent me over the edge.

The next couple of days were a blur. Even though I was let go I was actually supposed to remain for another few weeks ti transition my work to other associates in my department. Lucky for me all of the other associates in my department were similarly let go so there was nobody left to transition what little work I had. I only went back into the office twice after that day. The first time was the night I heard the news. My wonderfully supportive husband (fiance at the time) drove me down to my building late that night to get all of the important stuff from my office. I know that I could have had it sent home by my assistant, but I really wanted to do it myself. The second time was the next day when I returned to grab what remained in my office, write my final memo and say goodbye to the few remaining associates, legal assistants and partners that remained.

I think a lot of the associates that remained after the massacre felt a sense of survivors guilt. Some were very supportive, but most just didn't know what to say and sort of just stood there shaking their heads as they said their final goodbyes. I received a lot of offers to write recommendations and lots of pep talks about how I would land on my feet from more senior associates and partners. I did feel a bit like a leper and didn't want to overstay my welcome so my last time in the office was not more than a few hours. I would continue to receive phone calls and e-mails for the next several weeks, but actually stepping into the office was something I just couldn't bring myself to do.

Climbing Out From the Rubble

2010-03-05T07:22:00.000-08:00

Hello World, it's me, infant attorney (now downsized attorney). I'm back and ready to share the ups and downs of my past year.

As some of you may know I was laid off of my high paying, high stress, biglaw job in a big city back in December 2008. I stopped blogging because I just couldn't face the fact that I felt so lost in life. It's hard to imagine that losing a job I actually couldn't stand for much of the time was able to affect me so profoundly. I think being confronted with the fact that something I had worked so hard for was taken away from me so easily was just too much to bear blogging about. I was also stuck in a very interesting personal predicament that prevented me from picking myself up immediately and pounding the pavement for a new job. With the economy in the toilet my chances of finding another job just weren't promising. Add to the fact that my husband was planning to attend business school in another state in just a few short months. Finding a permanent job was not only impossible, but impractical.

Well here I am almost a year later. Living in a new city with a new job and pretty much a new life. I'd like to say that it was easy and that I was able to land on my feet right away, but then I would just be lying to you and to myself. It was a very difficult road I travelled, with many ups and downs. It was trying not only on my professional life, but my personal life as well as. I struggled with my own identity, sense of self and depression along the way. I'd like to say that all of that is behind me, but I think that I will carry a lot of what I experienced with me for the rest of my life. I don't mean it's all bad, I think I actually learned a lot about myself along the way.

I'll share my journey of getting from there to here little by little. It's far too long and detailed for one post. I hope some of you will join me. What actually got me back into blogging was all of the fellow bloggers I still follow. When I wasn't blogging myself I felt like I was on the outside. I also think that my journey from unemployment to contract work to full employment may help some of those people out there who are going through a similar experience.

Layoff

2008-12-08T13:48:00.000-08:00

So I'm sure some of you may have noticed that I haven't posted in several weeks. I guess I'll just come right out and say it, my firm had a layoff and I was let go. I'm not sure I'm ready to blog in detail about it. The sense of loss I'm feeling is so painful it's still hard to speak about. I just wanted to let those of you who follow my little blog know why I haven't been around. I have a lot to say, but I'm just not sure I'm ready to say it yet. I'm starting to cry just thinking about it which indicates to me that I'm just not ready to start blogging about it yet.

Overheard in the Lawfirm - Personal Calls

2008-11-18T11:56:00.000-08:00

Personal calls at work are always interesting to overhear. The assistant that sits outside of my office is a very nice lady. She's very Italian and talks with a pretty thick Boston accent. She's really nice to me, but I would be afraid to be on her bad side. She works for three very busy senior partners. One of the senior partners is notoriously rude and she's always talking crap about him behind his back, it's hysterical. Anyways, she loves to make personal calls at work and she is of course very very loud. She talks to her mother at least three times a day. They get into arguments and sometimes all I can her for like 10 minutes is her going "MA, MA, MA, MA stop, MA, MA" and then she'll hang up on her. Then of course when clients call and they are rude to her she loves to put them on hold and talk shit about them before transferring them into the partners office. She's pretty entertaining. Then of course there's the time that one of the partners bought her an expensive Christmas gift and then the next day they gave her the receipt for the gift to expense. She lost it and was cursing him out for a few days after that incident.

Well today takes the cake. She is on the phone with her doctor about some sort of rash that she has. Apparently it's spreading, and not just up her arm, but into places that shouldn't be discussed at work. I'm trying my hardest not to listen, but she's talking so loud. I wonder if she doesn't understand that I can hear every word she's saying or if she's just that comfortable with herself that she doesn't care who hears her. At the end of her conversation with the doctor she asks him how many refills she has left on her Celexa. Now there's nothing wrong with her taking anti-depressants, I take them too. I just couldn't believe that she was completely fine with discussing her medical problems in the open like that. I guess the Celexa explains a few things.

UPDATE: Forgot to add that she loves to flirt with people she doesn't know over the phone. Example, just now she was making an reservation for one of the partners and she is telling the airline employee that he has a sexy voice. I have also overheard her in the past say things to friends on the phone that she performed a strip tease last night for her husband, that she has a pole in her basement and that she plans on wearing her "stripper heels" over the weekend. Way, way too much information for me.

Static Cling

2008-11-17T15:07:00.000-08:00

Ugh! I hate this part of winter, when it gets really cold and really staticy (sp?). I used to hate having to drive in the winter because every time I got out of my car it would give me an unbelievable electric shock. I used to remedy the situation by touching my key to the car before closing the door. Neat trick, worked every time. Well...I guess that's all I've got for today.

Gagging at the Dentist

2008-11-14T08:46:00.000-08:00

This morning I had a dentist appointment before work. I usually love going to the dentist in the morning. I can sleep in and be late for work (with an excuse) and my mouth also feels so fresh and clean for the rest of the day.

Today was not just a routine cleaning. I was fitted for a night guard because apparently my job is causing me so much stress that I'm grinding my jaw at night which causes me unbelievable pain in the morning. That's right, I'm not grinding my teeth, I'm grinding my jaw. One might ask how this is possible. When my dentist first told me what was happening a few weeks ago I went home and googled "jaw grinding". To my shock and amazement it is a common symptom for individuals who are speed/meth addicts. Great, my dentist probably thinks I'm a drug addict. I asked him about this when I went back today and he assured me that he thinks my grinding is caused by stress.

To start with all of the trays the dentist had to make impressions with were too big to fit into my mouth. My dentist actually had to go next door to his colleague's office, who is a pediatric dentist, to borrow a child size tray. Great, so I've got a small mouth. My dentist puts the trays into my mouth to make an impression onf my bottom teeth. So far everything is fine until he starts to notice that it's not hardening. Apparently his assistant put too much water in so it literally takes 15 minutes for this thing to harden in my mouth. Of course my jaw is already sore from the grinding so it's becoming excruciatingly painful to hold my mouth open for so long. I relax my jaw and instantly I'm clamped down on the dentist's thumb. Oops.

Next comes the top impression. Now I have a very strong gag reflex. I literally gag myself brushing my teeth in the morning. Seriously, when I brush my back teeth or try to brush my tongue I occasionally make myself throw up. It's pretty gross. MP thinks is so comical that he waits around the bathroom in the morning while I'm brushing my teeth just to get a good laugh (he's such a sweetheart). So anyways, the top tray goes in and instantly I can feel the gross gooey paste inching toward my throat and I immediately start to dry heave. My dentist is looking at me like I'm totally crazy. He's telling me to calm down, breathe through my nose, anything to keep me from clamping down on his fingers or worse throwing up on him. Luckily I haven't eaten breakfast (for this very reason) so I have nothing to throw up, but I'm making these horrible gaging noises and I can feel bile coming up from my stomach (sorry I didn't think this post would get so graphic). Thankfully the impression was much quicker on the top, so after only a few minutes of gagging I was done.

Now my dentist is probably rethinking his "stress" assessment and is calling the MA bar to report me as a drug addict. The worst part is I can still feel the yucky paste between my teeth. I was also so embarrassed about the entire scene I made that I rushed out before the dental assistant could give me one of those handy warm towels to wipe the crusted paste off my face. When I walked into my office this morning my assistant kindly told me that I had some "white stuff" all over my face. Good times.

Morning Rant

2008-11-13T06:08:00.000-08:00

I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I have had such an aggravating morning. I feel the need to rant in order to be completely rid of it and ready to start the day fresh. Here goes:

1) I get on the bus at one of the last stops before downtown so of course it is already packed when I get on. I hate that it takes a freaking cattle prod to get everyone to move back a few feet so that I can get on the bus and stand behind the stupid yellow line. Then those same people that wouldn't move back for me, try to squeeze their way past me, while the bus is still moving, to be the closest to the door when it opens. This morning a creepy middle aged guy is standing next to me grunting and groaning about the traffic and the line of buses waiting to get into the next stop. Mind you I'm crammed between the wall of the bus and a baby carriage and he asks me if I can move so he can be that much closer to the door of the bus that isn't going to open anytime soon. I was so fed up I looked at him, with MP standing right next to me, and said "where would you like me to go, I can't really move until the bus stops". He just kind of stared at me for a second. MP was trying his hardest not to crack up. Well of course this guy doesn't even give it a second thought and attempts to squeeze between me and the baby carriage. Would it kill him to wait another few minutes for the bus to stop, me to exit and him to get off. Give me a break.

2) I hate, hate, hate people who stroll down the busy sidewalk at 8:30 in the morning without a care in the world. Hello, you're blocking everyone behind you who is trying to get to work. Boston sidewalks are pretty narrow as it is and with a million people cramming those sidewalks every morning trying to get to work it doesn't help when some annoying person with nowhere to go is holding us all up. It always seems like I'm the only person headed face on into a swarm of pedestrians headed the other way. Half of the time I end up walking in the street in order to get by because far be it for anyone to allow me to squeeze past them when I'm headed in the other direction. This morning I was completely infuriated when I had to get to work ASAP to send something to a partner who was on a train somewhere and needed me to send him something. Of course I get stuck behind this woman who is not only sipping on her DD coffee, but is also reading a novel as she walks. Hello, do you not realize that everyone behind you is trying to get past.

3) People who smoke on busy sidewalks, do they not think about the fact that they might burn someone with that cigarette? I want to scream every time I'm walking behind someone with a lit cigarette that comes within inches of my coat or scarf. What's worse is that a lot of these people are arm swingers, yes with the cigarette in hand. Do you not realize how dangerous that is. Not only are you killing yourself, but you're endangering everyone around you. Get a clue.

4) I hate, hate, hate when I see 20 something girls straight out of college frolicking down the street in their mini skirts and 3 inch heels. Hello, it's Boston, it's cold, get some pants or at least a pair of tights. I too wear skirts to work, but they come to at least my knees and I wear tights under them in the winter. I also do not commute to work in high heels. First of all Boston is practically 1/2 cobblestones, it's impossible to walk in heels over cobblestones. I don't care if you're a supermodel it's just not possible and you're ruining your heels in the process. Wear a pair of UGGs or some tennis shoes to work and change at your desk like everybody else. Besides, when you're hobbling around on the sidewalk you're holding the rest of us up back here.

Wow, I feel much better.

Simba

2008-11-12T14:03:00.000-08:00

I've badgered MP to the point where he has finally agreed to let me get a cat when we move next year. I've been wanting a pet for so long and he has finally agreed that I can get one. I've been researching various cat breeds and I really think that I want a singapura:

The are the smallest cat breed and are quite rare. There is actually a cattery near where I think/hope we will be moving next year. I've already been in contact with the owner and she said that a new litter will probably be ready for adoption around that time. I'm so excited. I really want to name the cat Simba, I know it's kind of corny, but it's such a pretty name. I'm really really excited, I've never had a cat or dog before. I've been researching everything about how to take care of them to the pros and cons of different kinds of litter. I'm really excited.

The only drawback is that one of these kitties costs $800. I feel like that's so much money to spend on a kitten. I'd love to adopt one from an animal shelter, but I feel like there just aren't as many options. I have some pretty specific requirements in a cat. It has to have short hair because MP has a lot of allergies and I know that cat hair would not only be bad for his allergies, but would just generally aggravate him. I also want to get a kitten at the youngest possible time so that I can bond with it. Maybe I'll adopt a cat from an animal shelter when I'm ready to get a second one.

A New Day

2008-11-11T10:18:00.001-08:00

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. I will assure you that my clothes did in fact remain on and nobody was hurt in the process of the evening. I am a grateful that my fellow colleagues graciously sent me home in a cab, but what I can't figure out is how the cab was paid for. My colleagues of course made sure I had money in my wallet before they sent me off, but when I checked the next day I still had the same amount of money (possibly even more) than I remember leaving with. This makes me wonder if the cab driver took pity on me or something, hopefully I didn't stiff the guy. I'm just going to chalk this one up to one of these things that I'm better off not knowing.

In other news, I'm staying moderately busy at work. Tomorrow night there is a second and third year associate dinner at an Italian restaurant nearby. I'm not planning to drink so don't even ask. Should be a good time to chat with what remains of my summer class (and the class above me) and catch up with friends in other departments I never see.

I can't believe the holidays are just around the corner. MP and I are terrible at spoiling each other for Christmas (I'm talking over the top, way too much money spent). MP loves Christmas and I have so much fun wrapping presents that things just get out of hand. Last year it took us over an hour to unwrap all of the gifts we got for each other (I know, but we were helping to stimulate the economy). I keep telling MP that things will be different when we have children which I think just encourages him even more to keep up the tradition now, while it lasts.

This year will probably be much more scaled back with my job situation, a potential move coming up, the wedding, and just the general state of the economy. However, because I can't help myself I have already begun to purchase a few Christmas gifts (god I love Internet shopping). I bought MP the coolest gift today. It may sounds sort of nerdy, but he's been talking about getting a globe for our office desk (it has a huge hutch above it with shelves). I bought him this awesome globe.

It's made of gemstones and it will look so nice next to this antique clock we have from MP's great-grandmother. I love buying Christmas presents, but I'm really going to have to watch my spending this year.

Making a Fool of Myself

2008-11-10T10:37:00.000-08:00

So last Friday I decided to go out with the first years to celebrate their bar passage. I think I had a little too much fun because the next thing I remember I'm at home in bed. I have absolutely no recollection of how I got home or what happened. I remember that I was nursing my first couple of drinks all night because I didn't want to drink too much and I had plans with MP for dinner. Then of course the peer pressure to take car bombs and several other nasty shots overcome me. Before I know it I'm at home in bed and it's 6:00 in the morning.

MP was not too happy with me the next day. I think he was mostly worried about me and was angry that I broke plans with him. Apparently he found me scratching on the door and when he opened it I was sitting in the hallway. Like the fantastic guy that he is, he got me into bed and took care of me.

The worst part about all of this is that I don't really remember what happened or how I got home. I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone so I'm just going to lay low in my office all week and I hope I don't run into anyone who was out with me. I'm such an idiot.

A Historic Night

2008-11-05T08:02:00.000-08:00

America has spoken. Yesterday was historic for so many reasons, not only have we elected our first black president, but yesterday we experienced record voter turnout. No matter who you voted for yesterday the fact that so many Americans voted, many for the first time, is truly historic and should not be overlooked. I support Obama and am eager to see his efforts to turn this country around. However, I do not support him on every issue and don't think that one man or one party can change the entire country. I think it's going to take a lot more to turn around this economy and fix the financial crisis America and now the world has gotten itself into. I am however optimistic that this new administration can make a positive change in the right direction. What I really wish is that elected officials could put party politics aside and work together to make change. We shall see in the coming months and years what the outcome of yesterdays decision will be.

I'm very disappointed with Proposition 8. I think legislating discrimination and hate is wrong. How can people not see that not allowing same sex couples to marry is the same thing as not allowing interracial couples to marry. I hope to see a time in our country when same sex marriage is not only legal, but is accepted. Hopefully it won't be long when we can look back at this point in history and wonder how people and our government could so blindly legislate discrimination.

In other news, my visit down south to see my family was pleasant for the most part. It was nice to see my mother and spend time with my stepfather. I went golfing with my stepfather (my mother and him married a few years ago) and it was nice to get to know him better. I wish I was a better person and could say that I enjoyed seeing my sister, but in reality I can only take her in very small doses. I feel like such a horrible person for not enjoying my family. I love them, but I just can't take spending more than a few days with them.

I met my sister's fiance. He seems like a very nice guy. He's very quite, but has a great sense of humor. My major concern is that he and my sister have not know each other very long. He is from Jamaica and from the sound of it wants to move back someday, I'm not sure if this has even occurred to my sister. My fear that my sister was jumping into this marriage was unfortunately confirmed. I spoke with my mom about it and she agrees. Apparently a few months back my mother, who financially supports my sister and my nephew, sat my sister down and explained that my sister needs to become more financially independent because my mother can't continue to take care of her. My suspicion, and my mother's as well, is that my sister is jumping into this marriage as a way to become more financially independent. This whole thing is a major headache for me and I feel bad, but I just don't want to deal with it. I have decided to not get involved. Needless to say MP and I will not be buying our plane tickets for the wedding anytime soon.

Vote

2008-11-04T11:54:00.000-08:00

MP and I woke up at 6:30 to get out and vote before work. We were in line at 7:15, but the line was wrapped around the building and we were told it would be about a two hour wait. I was happy to see so many people out to vote, but unfortunatly I couldn't wait in line for two hours because I had a meeting at 8:30. I wish there was an express lane for voters who had to get to work. I'm happy that senior citizens were out in droves to vote, but couldn't they wait until later in the day to give those of us who have to get to work a chance to vote and still make it on time. Anyways, I returned around noon today to vote and of course there was no line. I walked in with no problem and filled in my circles with the little black marker. Decmocracy is great! I hope everyone gets out to vote today.

"Vacation"

2008-10-29T14:42:00.000-07:00

I'm heading down south to visit my mom and sister. I'm excited to see my mom, I haven't seen her since April and I haven't seen my sister in over a year. Most people would say that's a really long time, but I'm not particularly close with my sister, nor with my mother really. It's quite a long story that involves a blog post of it's own so I won't go into details. My sister is my half sister and we didn't grow up together because obviously when my parents divorced and I lived with my dad my sister lived with my mom. She's also six years older than me and we couldn't be more opposite. To make a long story short, we mostly keep in touch through my mom and I see her when I visit my mom.

My sister recently got engaged (yes after I did) I'm not going to be one of those people that throws a fit that the attention isn't on me. It's just sort of strange. I've never met the man that she is going to marry and I've heard very little about him other than the fact that my mom and stepfather like him and he gets along great with my nephew. I'm really happy for my sister. I'm glad that she found someone, but at the same time I don't think that they've known each other for very long and I hope she isn't rushing into anything. I suppose I think that everyone who gets married soon in their relationship is rushing it, but that's because I can't help but compare everyone to my own relationship. MP and I have been together for over 7 years so compared to us everyone who hasn't been dating for a decade is rushing into marriage.

My sister is also planning to get married in February (my wedding is in June) so it's not like they are having a long engagement. I sort of wish she would at least wait until after my wedding, but I don't want to be selfish and dictate when she can get married. Her wedding is going to be a very small affair with family and a few friends. My wedding on the other hand is going to be a fairly large event 100+ guests at a gorgeous venue on the Cape. My sister has always been very proud of me, but I have always sensed that she is a bit envious of my accomplishments. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want her to feel out shined by my wedding or jealous. I really hope that this is just all in my head. She is my big sister and I know that she's happy for me, but I would just hate for her to be envious.

Drafting Motions

2008-10-28T11:19:00.000-07:00

So over the past couple of days I have been drafting my very first Motion. I'm a transactional attorney and don't typically do things like this, but I actually enjoyed it. The Motion is in connection with a real estate foreclosure where the property owner was placed in involuntary bankruptcy. This is in connection with a real estate financing gone bad, which is why me, a transactional attorney is involved. It's a nice change of pace to draft a Motion instead of the usual credit agreements and corporate documents I deal with on a daily basis. I even had to do a fair amount of legal research. I generally hate having to do legal research of any kind because I'm not very good at it. However, it was a nice break from my usual work and I enjoyed it because it wasn't just more of the same.

One of the nice things about being an attorney, especially a young associate is that you don't do the same thing everyday. I'm constantly being asked to do things for the first time. I enjoy that new issues and problems come up on a daily basis. I used to panic when I was asked to do something new, but I've now done enough work that I'm able to build on what I already know. It's times like this that I'm really proud of myself and realize that I am learning a lot and becoming a better attorney everyday. I just hope that others are seeing the effort that I'm putting in. I would love my job if it didn't involve all of the politics and B.S. associated with being an associate at a large firm.

In other news, I had a nice weekend. I traveled up north to NH to visit a friend from law school who is clerking up there. We had a nice time catching up and playing with her two adorable puppies. It of course made me crave having a puppy. When I breached the idea with MP he immediately disregarded it. I know he's right, we don't have the time to take care of a puppy. Between us there is never anyone home before 7:00 at night. I also don't think that it would be fair to have a puppy in a small condo with nowhere to run around and nobody to pay attention to it. MP did however leave the idea open for when we move and he's in school full time. I still just don't think that MP is much of an animal person and I don't think he really wants a dog at all, but is willing to have one to make me happy. I don't really want to have a dog that MP only begrudgingly puts up with.

Voting

2008-10-24T13:59:00.000-07:00

I was just reading LL's post about voting early and I got panicked because I couldn't remember if I was registered to vote at my current address and would dread having to go about 30 miles out of my way to vote on election day. This will be my first election voting in person and I'm really excited about it.

The first election I was eligible to vote was 2000 and I did that by absentee ballot because I was away at college and the state I was in doesn't allow non-permanent residents to switch voting to their state. Voting by absentee ballot just doesn't feel as official as voting in person and I was always worried that maybe my vote would get lost in the mail or would end up at the wrong address and never get counted (I'm a little paranoid).

The second time around, 2004, I was in the state I currently live, but still had a Washington driver's license (I grew up in Seattle) so my current state wouldn't allow me to switch over until I could prove I was a MA resident and there just wasn't enough time so I just voted absentee in Washington again (wow I think I just spilled the beans on the city I live in, oh well feels good to finally say it, yeah Boston!). Shortly after the 2004 election I got off my butt and got a MA license, established residency and the rest is history. Now that I'm a registered voter I can finally vote in person, yeah!